- Simon Amstell: David Bowie played Pontius Pilate in "The Last Temptation of Christ." I'm not saying he was wooden, but a certain Mr. Jesus Christ was nailed to him.
- [lights flash and gameshow music plays]
- Announcer: Congratulations, it's the Worst Joke of the Show!
- [the music continues as Simon waves to the camera and shakes hands with the panel as they applaud him]
- Simon Amstell: [sadly] Everyone knows Courtney Love apart from me.
- Noel Fielding: She'd crush you like a Twiglet.
- Simon Amstell: She would. Or kill me and make it look like suicide.
- Simon Amstell: [Noel Fielding's mouth is agape while an on-screen disclaimer reads: Simon Amstell is definitely wrong] I don't know what I'm talking about, I don't know what I'm saying; I saw a documentary, I don't know what I'm saying.