- Jake Doyle (Adult): So many thoughts raced through my head. Would I be arrested? Would I go to jail? Or worse, would I ever play Nintendo again?
- Jake Doyle (Adult): It was the most beautiful piece of machinery I'd ever laid eyes on. The thing made Luke Skywalker's robot hand look like a Tinker toy.
- Conor Stump: Do you want to hear about my ant farm? They're all dead. The uncles are doing all right though.