American Dad! (TV Series)

The Most Adequate Christmas Ever (2007)

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien, God

Photos 

Quotes 

• God : [playing with toy dinosaurs]  These things rule. Why did I ever send them to Mars?

• Stan Smith : I don't know why Francine's so mad about me for always being right. I don't get mad at her for always being wrong.

  [pause] 

  Stan Smith : Boobs are holding up nicely for a gal her age, I'll say that.

• Stan Smith : [to Francine]  Just because snow is the same color as our refrigerator doesn't mean you know how it works.

• [Roger enters wearing a festive sweater] 

  Roger : Merry, merry everyone!

  Hayley : Wow, great sweater, Roger.

  Roger : [drunkenly]  Thanks, I totally sniped it from a guy on eBay. I not only stole the sweater, I stole his holiday spirit and that made my holiday spirit grow stronger. Because, that's how it works, right? Like "Highlander"? There can be only one?

• [Stan has gone to God to get a second chance] 

  God : I'll just cut to the chase, I'm not going to help you.

  Stan Smith : What? Then just help my family. You can't let them die.

  God : Look, everything happens for a reason.

  Stan Smith : What reason could there be?

  God : Stan, I'm gonna level with you. If your family is allowed to live, Stanford's tennis team will go 0 and 8 in conference play.

  Stan Smith : What?

  God : [laughs]  I'm just messing with you, the point is mysterious ways, have a little faith, I'm in the details. Now c'mon, you can be triceratops. I know he's your favorite.

  [Stan draws a "Heaven Gun", which can kill anything] 

  Stan Smith : We're out of time. Now, send me back so I can save my family!

  God : Not gonna happen.

  Stan Smith : You have to!

  God : Okay, so you know better than me, is that it? You're all-knowing?

  Stan Smith : No. Yes. I don't know.

  God : Exactly! You don't know, so stop trying to control everything.

  Stan Smith : I don't do that!

  God : Stan, you're holding a gun to God's head. I mean, I can't even think of a metaphor that's better than this. And I'm a published poet. Now, come on. Put it down.

• Stan Smith : [about how the house is decorated for Christmas]  Seriously? I'd give you an "A" for effort, but this isn't U.C. Santa Cruz.

  Steve Smith : What did we do wrong?

  Stan Smith : Where do I start? Well, for one thing, the stockings. They're supposed to be hung with care in hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there. The INXS guy hung himself with more care. And the nativity scene. The three Wise Men look like transvestites, but the mannish kind. Not the attractive Asian kind you're always hoping your friends will hire for your birthday party.

• Stan Smith : [about Scott]  He doesn't look so tough.

  Michelle : Actually, up here, you get smaller and cuter every time you win a case.

  Stan Smith : Oh, my God! I'm screwed! Look at him! He's cuter than a puppy and a kitten trying to climb into the same slipper!

• Roger : [as he sees Michelle out the window]  There's a flying hooker watching you hug. Go away, hooker!