Resident Alien (TV Series)

Pilot (2021)

Alan Tudyk: Harry Vanderspeigle

Photos 

Quotes 

• Harry Vanderspeigle : [voiceover]  The answer's simple. It's nighttime. I'll just break into that kid's house and kill him. I'll say one thing about whiskey. It's allowing me to make smart, rational, decisions.

• Harry Vanderspeigle : [voiceover]  To say my species is more advanced than humans would be a massive understatement. If the universe had a scale for intelligence, humans would land right below lizards.

• Harry Vanderspeigle : [voiceover]  That means there are more people in this town who can see me as an alien than there are slices of pizza. Humans have a term for this: "Bad luck" and "raw deal" and "this is some bullshit".

• Harry Vanderspeigle : I have work to do.

  Asta Twelvetrees : The autopsy's done. What work do you have to do at 8 o'clock at night?

  Harry Vanderspeigle : [to himself]  I strangled and drowned a guy four months ago, and I have to search the lake for his bloated corpse before some fisherman finds it.

  [out loud] 

  Harry Vanderspeigle : Just stuff.

• [first lines] 

  Harry Vanderspeigle : [voiceover]  Spring. The birds are singing; the flowers are blooming; the sun is warming the Earth. Somewhere. Not here. It's 30 degrees out; it snowed nine feet last winter; and four frozen sodas just exploded in my truck. Welcome to Patience, Colorado.

• Asta Twelvetrees : This is when you're supposed to ask me about my childhood.

  Harry Vanderspeigle : Why? I don't care.

• Harry Vanderspeigle : Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just going to kill you.

• [the doctor is searching in the snow for wreckage from his ship] 

  Harry Vanderspeigle : [voice over]  I was taught that the biggest problem with the human race was their need for a connection. We always saw that as a weakness. But now I realize it may their greatest strength. In 1884 the local mine caved in.

  [Flashback to 1884 at the entrance to the mine] 

  Harry Vanderspeigle : When the miners escaped, they realized there was one man still trapped.

  Miner : There's still one in there?

  Harry Vanderspeigle : Fifty-nine men went back into the compromised mine, risking their own lives to save him.

  [Scene returns to the present] 

  Harry Vanderspeigle : Fifty-nine died to save one.

  [finds a piece of debris from his ship] 

  Harry Vanderspeigle : Maybe there's something redeemable about the human race after all.

  [determines that the debris is part of the device he intended to leave on earth] 

  Harry Vanderspeigle : Unfortunately for them, It's too late. It's only a matter of time before I find the rest of my device. And when I do, I can finally complete my mission, and kill them all. Every single one of them.

• Asta Twelvetrees : Wait, did you just call me a lizard?

  Harry Vanderspeigle : No. I compared you to a lizard.

• Mayor Ben Hawthorne : Wait, please don't tell me that you're leaving.

  Harry Vanderspeigle : Okay, I won't.

  [leaves] 

• Asta Twelvetrees : Feel free to come by... if you ever stop being a weirdo.

  Harry Vanderspeigle : Weirdo? That's not good. Now, I have to meet her over there and prove to her that I fit in, that I'm normal, like them. But first, I'm going to cut Sam Hodges' brain out of his head and squish it in my hands.

• [Harry is using his smart phone to look up words that the sheriff and Jaye used that he is unfamiliar with] 

  Harry Vanderspeigle : [typing]  Douche... bag. A small syringe for douching the vageena. Images.

  [shudders as images appear on his phone] 

  Harry Vanderspeigle : . What the hell!

  Harry Vanderspeigle : [looking up another word, typing]  Taint.

  [images appear, and he throws his phone aside in disgust] 

• Harry Vanderspeigle : I've never been into town before. It's just too risky. Plus, there's no pizza place and the internet said that parking was a nightmare.

• [Asta has just pulled Harry away from Sam's body while he was examining it in the middle of Sam's funeral] 

  Harry Vanderspeigle : I know how he died.

  Asta Twelvetrees : What?

  Harry Vanderspeigle : His windpipe; he needed air. It's the only thing that would explain what happened. He tried to give himself a tracheotomy. He couldn't do it in time.

  Asta Twelvetrees : Yeah, that makes sense. But I don't get it. Why would his throat close up?

  Harry Vanderspeigle : Because Sam Hodges was poisoned. And one of the people here is the murderer.

  Harry Vanderspeigle : [both look dramatically at the mourners gathered around Sam's casket]  Kung-kung!

• [Harry is experiencing his first hangover] 

  Harry Vanderspeigle : [narrating as he's exploring a glacier, looking for his lost technology]  . Whiskey: headache, nausea, severe dehydration. Alcohol must not affect humans the way it does us. If it did, they'd obviously would never drink it.

• [Harry is at The 59 with Asta. D'Arcy is their bartender] 

  Harry Vanderspeigle : [looking at pick axe and shovel mounted on the wall]  Why are the walls covered in old mining equipment?

  D'Arcy Bloom : You are new, aren't you?

  [shouting to other patrons] 

  D'Arcy Bloom : The 59!

  Bar Patrons : [shouting back]  The 59!

  D'Arcy Bloom : Died to save one. Town motto. Maybe stick around long enough, and find out what it means.

  [D'Arcy hands a shot of whiskey to Asta and Harry, raises her own shot] 

  D'Arcy Bloom : To the 59, and to finding the bastard that killed Sam.

  Asta Twelvetrees : I'll drink to that.

  [All three down their shots. Asta and D'Arcy wince appreciatively] 

  Harry Vanderspeigle : [Harry gasps and shudders]  Wow. What is that?

  D'Arcy Bloom : That's our local whiskey. Pretty great, huh?

  Harry Vanderspeigle : No! It's awful.

  [Asta laughs] 

  Harry Vanderspeigle : . Why do I want more?