- Sarah Walker: Why did you put the money in Chuck's account?
- Jack Burton: I needed to put it somewhere because I didn't trust Cop Face.
- Sarah Walker: But you trusted Chuck?
- Jack Burton: I read people. That's the only real talent I got. One thing I know, that kid would never betray you. I made a $10 million bet that he loved you... Turns out I was right.
- John Casey: [watching the transfer from his car] The Sheik's account number. Hmmm, decent plan, Bartowski. Of course I'll never tell him that.
- Jack Burton: [Speaking of Chuck] This guy has twenty two hundred bucks to his name.
- Sarah Walker: How do you know?
- Jack Burton: [Pulling out an ATM card] I lifted his ATM card last night. I wanted to check him out cause I was worried about you.
- Sarah Walker: [Taking back Chuck's card] And now that you know he's broke?
- Jack Burton: Now I'm *really* worried.
- Chuck Bartowski: The guy is a total loser, all right? Absolute bottom-feeding, scum of the earth. Have I mentioned considerably *older* man?
- Jack Burton: [from behind] All true, but I'm a hell of a dancer.
- Sarah Walker: Chuck, I'd like you to meet my dad, Jack Burton. Dad, this is my boyfriend, Chuck.
- Chuck Bartowski: [Clears his throat] A real pleasure, sir.
- John Casey: General, is the agency asking us to commit fraud?
- General Diane Beckman: No, that would mean the C.I.A. has some knowledge of your mission.
- Jeff Barnes: If I could travel in time, I'd go to Lester's birth. I'd love to see the look on your face when you emerged from the vaginal canal.
- Sarah Walker: Give the order and I'll bring him in.
- Chuck Bartowski: What? You're gonna arrest your own father? Isn't that kind of a conflict of interest?
- John Casey: If Agent Walker's uncomfortable, I'd be happy to make the arrest.
- General Diane Beckman: No one's getting arrested... yet.
- Captain Awesome: [after giving Morgan a check] There you go Morgan. Welcome to adulthood. We've been waiting for you.
- Sarah Walker: Chuck, you're attributing good intentions to him because you're a good person.
- Chuck Bartowski: Well, he must've done something right. You turned out pretty good.
- Jack Burton: Remember Charlie, the bigger the lie, the easier...
- Chuck Bartowski: The easier it is to believe.
- Captain Awesome: I lent him that money so he could get an apartment, not blow it on some stupid car!
- Anna Wu: WHAT? That money was for our *apartment*! I'm gonna kill him!
- Captain Awesome: Get in line Anna!
- Captain Awesome: [to Morgan] You have *exactly* one day to get my money back to me or I pluck your from head to toe!
- Anna Wu: Start with the groin. He won't be using that region for while!
- Jack Burton: Well, you pulled it off kid. You made me a believer.
- Chuck Bartowski: Well, my German's a little rusty, but...
- Jack Burton: No, no. That you two are a couple.
- Sarah Walker: If anything happens to my father...
- Sheik Rajiv Amad: What? You will con me out of more more?
- Sarah Walker: No. I'll kill you.
- Sheik Rajiv Amad: Then bring me what is mine, and we won't have a problem.
- Chuck Bartowski: You wanna come over for a fake date with Awesome and Ellie? I promise fake cuddling but real pizza.
- Morgan Grimes: So long, Chuck. We had a good run, didn't we?
- Chuck Bartowski: Stuff of legend. Where you headed?
- Morgan Grimes: Adulthood.
- Morgan Grimes: Charles. Hey, my man. Looking well as usual. Oh, my, and that scent. It's like the beach after the rains. What do you call it?
- Chuck Bartowski: Deodorant.
- Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: Would you agree that you have no credit, no life plan, no apartment, no car, no adult responsibilities of any kind?
- Morgan Grimes: On rare occasion, I do my own laundry.
- Jack Burton: Darling, a thief has to run out of town as fast as he can, but a good con man...
- Sarah Walker: A good con man can leave whenever he wants. I remember, Dad.
- Ellie Bartowski: I can only assume you met some other Morgan at work, because the thought of you giving away a hunk of our nest egg is too horific to consider.
- Captain Awesome: I didn't give it away. I lent it to him so he could get an apartment with Anna.