Derek Newark: Publican

Quotes 

• Publican : [reading newspaper]  It says here that Hitler's generals have traveled to the front to personally direct the troops on the battlefield. Why can't our generals do that?

  Publican's Wife : Their wheelchairs would get stuck in the mud. Are you gonna do any work today?

  Publican : I'm just trying to find out how the war's going.

  Publican's Wife : Down the drain, where this pub'll go if you don't get on with cleaning it.