Criminal Minds (TV Series)

Damaged (2008)

Kirsten Vangsness: Penelope Garcia

Photos 

Quotes 

• Penelope Garcia : [mortified that Kevin will talk with Rossi about their relationship]  If you get within a hundred feet of Agent Rossi, I will unleash an unrecoverable virus onto your personal computer system that will reduce your electronic world into something between a Commodore 64, and a block of government cheese.

• Emily Prentiss : He might need our help.

  Penelope Garcia : He didn't ask anyone for help.

  Emily Prentiss : Penelope, Rossi is a guy who color-coded his hand-written notes in his notebooks. Blue pen for evidential items, red pen for supposition and theory. The guy is a fussy, anal-retentive, neat freak who never leaves anything out of its place. I would say this is a scream for help.

• David Rossi : Where're my notes, my original crime scene notes?

  Penelope Garcia : Again, sorry, you didn't ask for that specific you used...

  David Rossi : I have to say how to look for everything? What kind of a researcher are you?

  Penelope Garcia : I'm not a researcher, I'm a technical analyst.

  David Rossi : What the hell does that even mean?

  Kevin Lynch : [coming in]  You left the middle of my back totally unloofahed.

• Penelope Garcia : [Rushes into JJ's office]  I might be in big trouble

  Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : Come on in

  [keeps on reading her papers] 

  Penelope Garcia : I can't believe he showed up at my apartment

  Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : It's not like I am doing anything in here

  Penelope Garcia : We just had a seminar on fraternization last week, but

  Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : I really have a lot of work to do, Garcia

  Penelope Garcia : So you don't want to hear how agent Rossi showed up at my door in the middle of the night while I was enjoying post-coital shower with fellow FBI technical analyst Kevin Lynch?

  Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : [closes file, turns chair]  Sit. So you were in the shower with Kevin Lynch?

  Penelope Garcia : Come on JJ, I am being serious I need your help

  Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : With what?

  Penelope Garcia : Agent Rossi! We're not supposed to date fellow bureau employees

  Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : From what I hear, Rossi is the reason most of these fraternization rules even exist, okay? He's not going tell anyone. Just relax. Wait, what was Rossi doing in your apartment?

  Penelope Garcia : That's a good... I am not supposed to tell anyone

  Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : Why?

  Penelope Garcia : I didn't press the issue. I was all naked and all drippy

  Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : Doesn't showering with someone always seem like a better idea before you're actually doing it?

  Penelope Garcia : [laughs]  Yes, it's a bit of a workout

  Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : And there comes a point where a girl just got to wash her hair alone, you know

• Penelope Garcia : [Shower runs, knocks on the door]  There is no acceptable excuse for violence, but for you I am making an exception!

  [opens door] 

  Penelope Garcia : Oh my God! Agent Rossi

  David Rossi : This can't be everything

  Penelope Garcia : I'm sorry sir

  David Rossi : This is not everything

  [walks into her house] 

  Penelope Garcia : I was taking a sh... your're coming in