Brandon Maggart: Lou Waters

Quotes 

• Cliff Waters : Well, I gotta go.

  Joe Waters : Exam week. You got to study, huh!

  Cliff Waters : Nooooo, gotta *party*!

  Joe Waters : Y'know, in my day, we studied the night before an exam.

  Cliff Waters : Yeah, well Joe, it's just one of those courses that all the athletes take.

  Joe Waters : Ah, a 'gimme' course. And you figure just because you're playing ball, all you have to do is show up to get a passing grade.

  Cliff Waters : Oh, like you didn't take easy courses when you were playing football.

  Joe Waters : No, I didn't. I was trying to prepare myself for life after football.

  Lou Waters : Yeah, Cliffie, Joey's right, there. I know, 'cause I helped him with his homework. He took some real tough courses.

  Joe Waters : That's right.

  Lou Waters : Like, The Roots of Rock 'n' Roll.

  Joe Waters : [beginning to feel embarrassed]  Lou!

  Lou Waters : The History of Bowling.

  Joe Waters : That's enough, Lou.

  Lou Waters : Care and Maintenance of Your Private Parts.

  Joe Waters : That was Personal Hygiene. Look, Cliff, all I'm saying is, even though this course may be easy, you still gotta take it seriously to pass.

  Lou Waters : You flunked 'Private Parts' three times.

• Joe Waters : [Cliff has just informed everyone that he flunked his Human Sexuality exam]  I told ya you'd flunk. If you'd only listened to me once.

  Cliff Waters : Joe...

  Lou Waters : Once! One time, does he listen?

  Lou Waters : Joe, Joe, don't be so hard on him, now. We had the same trouble there with you, when I was tutorin' you for your Hygiene Parts class, there. I said, 'Joe, Joe, learn all about your gentiles.' I said, 'You be true to your gentiles, or they'll be false to you.'

  Donald Maltby : [Lou's mistakes in word choice finally push Donald over the edge, out of control]  GENITALS! GENITALS, you big, fat thing that scurries away when the lights go on!