Stewart Jackson's hopes of joining the Renford Comprehensive school football team are dashed when he is badly injured during trials. He and others who were also not selected - hothead Jason Summerbee, poet Ben Phillips and faux-Italian Bruno Di Gradi - decide to form their own five-a-side team, adding cool kid Ronnie Supra and talented striker Robin Walker (who was denied a place on the school team because of her gender).
—RejeXCVIII