- Jack Hurley: Oh, by the way, Roy says hi. Did you know he named his dog after you?
- Eliot Spencer: Well, he... we... wait, what?
- Jack Hurley: Yeah, it bites everybody.
- Eliot Spencer: Stop it. Stop being so positive, man. Golf is stupid, but you're stupid! I don't... how did I even let you talk me into this?
- Jack Hurley: Because it's relaxing. It's peaceful. It's serene.
- Eliot Spencer: Sports are not supposed to be serene, all right? Sports is war. Hell, even Hardison knows that!
- Eliot Spencer: Listen... the Jack Hurley that I know, he's only addicted to one thing.
- Jack Hurley: Wipin' the smile off that guy's face.
- Jack Hurley: [to Eliot] Now... you hit that ball like it's a Yakuza who just jumped you in an alley.