Witchmaster General (2009) Poster

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1/10
Suckage
Caljimjet6 September 2010
Warning: Spoilers
Wow! I'm speechless!!!! Okay, here comes the spoiler, look away from the screen I'm not gonna warn you again..... here it comes....... This movie sucked cat balls.

It is even beyond the it sucked so much it was funny limit. This one was painful. Even if your 13 and want to check out the generous portions of naked ladies it doesn't cut it. Back in the pre internet porn days it would of scored a few points for that but the days of adding TnA to score points with horny teens are gone.... so sorry....

So why waist my time writing this ??? As a warning. Some people are writing in here and saying that this is a good movie.(That, is how I ended up checking it out and why I'm writing this.)A GOOD MOVIE? A good movie it is NOT. Unless you are a relative of someone involved with it or if you're blowing or wish you were blowing someone involved with it there is no way this movie can truthfully be called good.

And...... that's all. If I continue I'm just gonna get nasty and hurtful and we don't need anymore of that.
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1/10
Great movie!
jjj61114 September 2010
... is what I would say if I was talking about a completely different film.

This one is a complete dud. It doesn't take a genius to notice that all of the initial reviews of this film rated it with 8 stars when it scores less than 3 with very few votes. Could these reviews possibly be biased by participants in the film? I'll let you decide for yourself.

However, from watching the movie I will give you a quick rundown of exactly what I found. You'll see other reviews commenting on how there is "plenty of full frontal female nudity from extremely attractive women." I beg to differ. There is one attractive woman in this film and she happens to be the one that doesn't get fully naked.

Watch the trailer for this film. I watched it with my girlfriend and all she had to say was "This doesn't make any sense... It is a bunch of random scenes that don't fit together interspersed with porn." And sadly it applies just as well to the overall movie.

I have to admit, I watched this movie in the hopes that it would be as terrifically awful as Troll 2. It was mostly morbid curiosity. However, even though this movie was horrifically bad, it wasn't the least bit amusing how bad it was.
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1/10
A really pathetic movie
gurubesar-668-11390210 September 2010
If you act on a play directed by your daughter, you may have a better performance than these so called actors on this movie. Okay they are all newcomers, but that is not an excuse to perform so outrageously bad. The acting was disgusting plus the effect was really cheap. I mean you supposed to watch a horror movie, but what you see does not really make you scare, because you end up wondering what is actually happening instead of being scared. Some of the killing plot were so lame that you will wonder what is actually they are trying to show you in the movie. I have to give 1 instead of 0, because that is the lowest possible grade on IMDb. Please do not waste your time and money on this so called horror movie, trust me, you will not regret it..
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1/10
Absolutely dreadful
artpf1 November 2013
An evil Voodoo Witchdoctor runs a murder-for-hire business.

He'll do away with your unfaithful wife, your unappreciative boss, or your back-stabbing friend - but the price is your soul!

Whatever!

Film opens with a hot chick in a hood who cant act killing a couple on a swing set. Why? Who knows.

The film was made for ten cents and the acting is non existent. The witchmaster guy has a fey brit accent and is tedious to listen to because he cannot act his way out of a paper bag. He's completely uncomfortable in front of the camera. What's he doing in this movie?

Then there's this hot blond who also can't act (are we seeing a patter yet?) but you won't care cuz she soon takes off her clothes and va va voom she's hot. She should take on escorting cuz acting ain't her strong suit.

Film plods on with no direction. More hot chicks who can't act. More blond chick in bra and panties. They should have made this a porno at least it would have been watchable.

Suffice to say, the movie is not worth your time nor your brain cells. It's junk.

And the ONE good review on IMDb is clearly from someone involved in the film.
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8/10
Good, dirty fun!
ladychater22 April 2009
This flick really is lots of fun. Sure, it's a micro-budget film, but the dialog is all kinds of clever and the story really does have some jolts in it. Wisely, director Jim Haggerty never tries to do more than he has the means to film, so you don't see cheap and tacky special effects. It all works.

The movie stars Phil Lewis of the band LA Guns who clearly has been hiding some acting skills. Across the board the acting is very good and the women - most of whom get naked - are hot.

If you like your horror with a nice dash of humor, this is a film for you.
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8/10
Jim Haggerty and Phil Lewis = a winning combination
treepatter31 May 2009
For Jim Haggerty's fourth film, he has enlisted the help of Phil Lewis, lead singer of the band LA Guns. Lewis shines in the title role as Dr Phineas Gorgon, a doctor with some unusual prescriptions for helping people solve their problems. Vic Martino also does a great job as the detective trying to make sense of it all, and stop Gorgon from his evil ways. The acting in this film overall is the most consistent of Haggerty's films, and combined with some great dialogue and an engrossing story line, really keeps you interested in the film. All the women are gorgeous, and as is the norm with Haggerty's films, there is plenty of nudity. Most of his films also contain a good deal of humor, and this one is no exception. For a film made on practically no budget, it's easy to forgive some of the lighting, sound, and editing flaws, none of which detract from the film in a major way. A couple of the scenes however, didn't come off as well as the rest of the film, especially one featuring two women fighting. They seemed like they were having a laugh and a good time, rather than trying to kill each other. For someone who had never acted in a film before, Lewis is very effective, especially when dishing out some of his "prescriptions"; you can feel the pleasure he takes in the sadism he bestows on his victims. As another commenter noted, there is not a whole lot of special effects or gore in this film. Instead, Haggerty relies on the story, and the characters to keep the film interesting, and that's a welcome change from many of the movies in this genre currently being released. This film is recommended for anyone who enjoys horror movies that rely on atmosphere and plot, as it has the feel of some of the classic Hammer films from the 60's and 70's. If you enjoy those types of films, check this one out.
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10/10
A well kept secret....
lewisaudrey6926 March 2011
Starring one of the biggest names in the music industry, The Witchmaster General is all around fun times and really helps its fans embrace the whole "Hollywood Vampires" theme of the '80's metal scene. Phil Lewis is remarkable as Dr. Phineas Gorgon, and his hidden acting skills are certainly something he should be quite proud of. Vic Martino of The Sopranos also stars in this as Detective Keith Stone and gave this movie its hilarious, sarcastic edge. Also starring a vast array of other very talented actors, including Playboy model Colleen Marie, this movie is a lot of fun and will keep you smiling till the very end. Two thumbs up!
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10/10
Loved It!
neveragainpenn26 January 2011
Let me start off by saying that this film is definitely worth watching, every minute-even the commentary is great!

Jim Haggarty made a great decision when he cast Phil Lewis in the role. He's got the eccentric villain down-pat. So, not only do you get entertainment, but eye candy too! In my opinion, there needs to be more films like this. It does keep the viewer's interest and you can't help but have a better mood after watching it. If you can't laugh and enjoy Witchmaster General, then I don't know how you ever will!

This movie never gets old! Its become a staple at my parties! Watch this film and see what I mean.

Check out Yellow Ape Productions.
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8/10
Very fine "horror" for this genre. Haggerty keeps rolling them out!
stbartsactor27 April 2009
Good, fun "horror" film. Particularly enjoyed Phil Lewis, of the rock group Guns & Roses and I believe never acted before and Vic Martino of Sopranos. Haggerty himself plays a brief supporting role and as we are coming to know from some of his other features, he is a very funny and natural actor. I thought the special effects were good and an amusing turn by the card shark. Haggerty is giving a lot of good actors work. Lots of tongue and cheek humor, Haggerty has a helluva imagination. If you like lots of good shots of full frontal female nudity, this one's for you.

Production credits, music etal look good.
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8/10
Enjoyable.
naimmperess24 May 2009
I liked Witchmaster General.

First, Phil Lewis gave a good performance. For a first-time actor, he had presence.

In addition, the other actors kept it interesting. The one playing the cop definitely moved the film along.

I also liked the music. It had an appropriately sinister quality.

Though it was a horror film, it was also funny enough.

Another strong element of the movie were the effective camera shots. I've seen all of the Jim Haggerty films and his cinematography has undoubtedly improved.

It was an effective effort. I liked it.
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