- Liz thinks she's found the perfect mate in an eccentric, agoraphobic former CEO, and Tracy thinks that his sons are trying to kill him.
- "30 Rock" - "Gavin Volure" - Nov. 20, 2008
We open on a shot of a large country manor. Jack and Liz are attending a party at Gavin Volure's house. (Volure is played by Steve Martin in this season's hands-down funniest stunt casting.) Liz is nervous because she's in Connecticut, hasn't eaten, and is concerned about an "away-toilet" situation. As they sit down to a dinner table Jack tells her how lucky she is to be in the wealthy Volure's home, former CEO of Sunstream. A pianist plays in the background as Jack explains Volure is a god, an agoraphobe and germaphobe who was the first man to be on the cover of Forbes and Jet magazine at the same time. Of course that's when Jet used to be about jets. The magazine, Jack notes, has taken a weird turn. Speaking of which Volure turns out to be the pianist.
Volure welcomes his guests saying he has to bring the world to him as an agoraphobe so he has invited people from the world's of fashion (an oddly attired black man), society (an older scary looking WASP lady), yelling and art collecting (John McEnroe who yells about where the art might be), business and historical fiction (Jack, who has apparently written about what would've happened if the Germans won), and the arts (Liz). He stands behind an empty chair which is meant to symbolize unfulfilled hopes and dreams. Just kidding, Spitzer's hooker couldn't make it. Volure is sweet on Liz.
Back at the studio Tracy is telling Kenneth he's afraid of his kids, they've been acting weird. We cut to a shot of Tracy's kids staring him down. He says they never used to care about him-understandably since he's a stange man who can't be taken seriously. Now they won't let him out of his sight. Kenneth wonders if it's just that they love him. Tracy pulls out a homemade craft that Kenneth thinks is cute but that Tracy says is voodoo. Kenneth says kids act strange around change, like his own hard adjustment to moving to the militia camp. Tracy points out that there is a lot of money coming in, and not just from the video game but his life size sex doll which has been very popular in Japan.
At dinner Jack tells Volure he can't believe he's out of the game, it's like Picasso not painting or Bruce Willis not combining action and rock harmonica. Volure says he does miss the game and he's forming a new company. The pitch: wind power, bandwidth, and the Chinese market. Volure says if he wants in he'll pull some strings. Jack is excited saying it's his best day since Bruce Springsteen pulled him onstage to dance. Volure says Jack will be so rich he'll be able to run for public office without pretending to be a fundamentalist. Jack and Liz depart and Volure has his manservant Carl kiss her hand on his behalf. (Germaphobe).
The next day at 30 Rock, Pete announces that they have to appoint a floor monitor for emergencies but his head is too big to fit the orange safety helmet. There are no volunteers. Liz enters and receives a call from Volure asking her out to the house for a date Saturday. She agrees. She hangs up confused.
In his dressing room Tracy watches a documentary on the Menendez brothers and realizes his kids are trying to kill him for his money.
Jack happens upon Kenneth who is folding laundry, he's been taking it in to make ends meet. He's been sending more money home lately, since inbreeding between the pigs on the farm has caused them to become violent. Jack wonders how much money he has in savings. Kenneth says $80,000. Without the Confederate money it's $4,000. Jack says to give it to him and he'll invest it in Volure's company.
Liz intercepts Jack at the elevators and she tells him about the date. He tells her she should. She says she's still tired from dinner, and that dating is hard, and then what's the upside, it works and then you have to have a bunch of sex? Jack wonders if Liz wants to be alone forever. She says no, she just wishes she could start a relationship around year twelve where you don't have to try anymore and you just sit around and goof on TV shows and then go to bed without anybody trying any funny business. Jack says to go for it, and if he was a woman Volure would be at the top of his list with Michael Jordan, Denzel Washington and Taye Diggs. Jack worries he has a "black thing." Liz says she does like him. Jack gets in the elevator and tells her to work it like a Chinese gymnast: wear something tight, force a smile, and lie about your age.
Tracy comes home and is confronted by his sons in matching hockey masks. He freaks out and runs. They yell after him "we made the hockey team."
Volure is showing Liz around his house, including one room that has two benches: one which is a priceless work of art and the other to sit on and admire the other one. They are identical. He says he does get lonely and sometimes dances with a broom. Liz says she sometimes disputes her credit card charges by speakerphone to have company during dinner. He thanks her for coming and compliments her company. She asks how "this" works. He says it's not easy, they'll probably just sit around the house, watch TV, eat, read celebrity gossip on the Internet and nap the day away. And given his germaphobia they could never be intimate. He wonders what woman would want that. Liz raises her hand.
Kenneth enters Jack's office excited about his investment. Jack calls his broker to see how the investment is going. The broker reports the account was closed out. Kenneth leans in and asks what the status of his investment is.
Liz is leaving Volure's house happy after a day of watching MTV Canada. He asks Carl to get Liz's phone in the other room. When Carl leaves Volure rushes to the door, locks it, and spills to Liz that he's not an agoraphobe and the truth is he's under house arrest for tax fraud, and arson and Carl is a U.S. marshal. Carl pounds on the door as Volure tries to run off. He's tackled on the lawn by another marshal, Derek, who he thought was upstairs. He rants "I miscounted the men, Liz!"
Liz tells Jack about what happened. (She's angry since she thought she was helping him when she let him hold her boob while they watched "Top Chef.") Jack says he will not only fix that by hitting Volure harder than a bottle of whiskey at an Irish wake but get Kenneth's money back. (Gavin stole the money).
Tracy's sitting in the hallway. Liz tells him to get out. He pops out of his dressing room and says "or am I." It turns out that this is the doll. You can tell the difference, he says, since the doll is not suffering from a vitamin deficiency. He's going to use it as a decoy so his kids don't "Menendez" him.
Jack confronts Gavin, who said he needed the money for his escape, and his disguises. Jack wonders about the Sunstream money. Gavin says that was a sham and if you paid attention you'd see the commercials never said what they did. Cut to various images: a skyscraper, an arrow hitting a target, fast moving traffic as a voice says "Innovation, Tomorrow, America, Sunstream." Jack asks about the house. Volure says the government owns it and he shares it with three other white collar criminals. Just then a man walks in and Volure yells at him for eating his peanut butter and grabs it from his hand. Jack calls him pathetic. Volure realizes, since it's creamy, that it's not his peanut butter. Volure says he never meant to hurt Liz, and that he misses her laugh, her voice, and the sound of her scratching her dry elbow skin. He demonstrates this while holding a drink which he dumps on himself and then says "oh man, I've got a serious case of the Mondays!" He storms off to the bathroom and appears to still be talking to Jack. But when his responses become bizarre, Jack walks in and finds a tape recorder on the toilet and an open window.
Jack returns to "30 Rock" and tries to offer Kenneth a check for his money. Kenneth refuses to take it wondering where the economy would be if we didn't allow wealthy people to take advantage of rubes. Pete arrives with the emergency floor monitor kit and Kenneth is happy to oblige. Jack notes to Pete slyly that that job come with a $4,000 signing bonus right? Wink, wink. Pete gets it and says that he remembers that meeting since it's also the one at which Jack promised him a per diem for his gas. Jack relents and offers him 12 cents a mile, Pete is stoked.
At Tracy's house he has put the sex doll in his bed and he's hiding in the closet. His son enters and says to the doll that he loves him and hopes he doesn't get so rich that he leaves the family as has been happening in his dreams. Tracy comes out of the closet and freaks out his son who begins hitting him with a lamp. Tracy tells him to stop patriciding and assures him that he will never leave him and that if anything does happen to him that he and his brother will be going to jail.
The next day at 30 Rock Tracy proudly announces to Liz that he's not dead and that everything worked out with Jenna's dad's visit. Liz is confused until a set painter stops her and its Volure. He says he went all the way to Canada- he offers proof with Canadian prescription medication and a straight to DVD Paris Hilton movie- but realized he had to come back for her. He asks her to come to Toronto with him since it's just like New York without all the stuff. She declines. Jack arrives surprised that Volure hasn't fled to somewhere the U.S. government can't touch him like Bali or Utah. Volure threatens Jack with a paintbrush and then flees, very slowly, to a ladder that goes up to the catwalk and threatens to jump.
An extra yells that they need the floor emergency marshal. Kenneth runs in and offers anyone who needs the saltines and water. Tracy takes them and a seat in a chair.
Jack keeps him talking long enough for Tracy to tackle him. Volure is confused since he thought Tracy was sitting on a chair next to Jack. Turns out that's the doll. He miscounted the men, Liz points out.
Contribute to this page
Suggest an edit or add missing content