- Sammy: There are eight meatballs in there; why do we put so many meatballs? Is he a friend of yours? Maybe you guys go bowling together?
- Sammy: How was your soup?
- Gordon Ramsay: Yeah. That's a Wedding Soup?
- Sammy: Yeah, that's to get them in the mood to get married.
- Gordon Ramsay: Fuck, I'd rather get fucking divorced.
- Sammy: Oh my God.
- Gordon Ramsay: And that's made fresh everyday, is it?
- Sammy: Normally our soups last two days.
- Gordon Ramsay: Two days? How can it be Soup of the Day when it's Soup of Yesterday?
- [after Gordon has complained about the lasagna]
- Sammy: Because it's an Italian lasagna, not a frickin' Chinese lasagna!
- Self - Narrator: With food now coming back, it's a perfect opportunity for Gordon to witness Sammy's customer service skills.
- Sammy: How did you want your meat cooked? Did you want it rare?
- Lady: I wanted it medium rare.
- Sammy: So can we make you another one? Will you wait or you don't want it all?
- Lady: I'll wait, but the thing is I don't want you to stick it back in a microwave.
- Sammy: No, we're going to throw that out and make you a new one. Nobody's talking about microwave. You're the one who's talking about microwave.
- Lady: [lifts up plate] It came out of a microwave, otherwise it wouldn't be exuding heat.
- Sammy: [sarcastically] Do you work for a microwave company? You know so much about microwaves.
- [walks away but still within earshot]
- Sammy: Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Get the fuck out of here. Tell her to take a hike.
- Customer: [having overheard] That is rude. Wow. To speak to a customer like that, that's disgusting.
- [Later when the lamb is "recooked"/microwaved and brought back to the lady, the restaurant breaks out in applause]
- Sammy: [to the customers] No wait, we're not done yet. I want to see you cut into it.
- [the lady gives him a look as if to say, "Are you serious right now?"]
- Sammy: How is it? Is it still too rare?
- Lady: [almost bemused] You know what? I'm done. No more chances.
- Sammy: Unbelievable.
- [interview]
- Sammy: Oh my God. I just wanted to pick her up and throw her out. There's a right way and a wrong way of handling something like that and she was totally wrong.
- Sammy's Girlfriend: [having witnessed the entire event] You know what? You need to go out and apologize to her.
- Sammy: I'm not going out and apologizing to her!
- Sammy's Girlfriend: Go out and apologize to her. Go out and apologize to her. Go out and apologize to her.
- Gordon Ramsay: Watching this restaurant perform is embarrassing. Fake fucking crab meat inside of sole? It's pretty obvious, it's become the appendix of restaurants in Stamford. You just want to get rid of it and get it out.
- [walks back inside the restaurant]
- Gordon Ramsay: Bollocks.
- Gordon Ramsay: If that lasagna is homemade, I'll dance around this restaurant tonight stark bollock naked.