Lynne Thigpen: The Chief

Quotes 

• The Chief : Alright. Here's what we know so far. Vic the Slick headed for one of the fastest- growing cities in America. Now, I have always found some of the attractions there a little silly. There's the Mirage, a hotel with an artificial volcano, and Circus Circus, a casino with a real circus going on over your head. Now, Vic wants to turn Alcatraz into a nightclub called Prison Prison, complete with a chain gang chorus line. Who knows? Might just catch on. Greg.

• The Chief : Uh, Greg?

  Greg Lee : Yeah, Chief.

  The Chief : Lemke just called. Says we're in violation of Crimenet regulation 336-2: the Hand Puppet Clause. See, we're on PBS. Kids are watching, and we are required to use a hand puppet.

  Greg Lee : Okay, uh, no problem. No problem. Got it handled.

  [he raises his right hand, which suddenly has large artificial eyes just above the fingers, a small hat directly behind them, and a tie around the wrist] 

  Greg Lee : Hi, Handy. Got a clue for us?

  Handy Handcock : [speaking in an all-purposes accent]  I certainly do. Thank you, Gregory. Vic the Slick went to a city where they speak slang called lunfardo. It's a combination of Spanish and Italian. The country recently changed it's currency from the peso to the austral.

  Greg Lee : Really? What's Vic doing there?

  Handy Handcock : He tried to sell the prison as a floating hotel complete with tango dancers and all sorts of other things that, uh...

  The Chief : [not sure what to make of this]  Well, that was... interesting, Greg.

  Handy Handcock : Thank you very much. Thank you.

  Greg Lee : Ladies and gentlemen, Handy Handcock!

  [applause] 

  Handy Handcock : [as Greg makes him bow]  Thank you very much! Thank you!

• The Chief : [during the slide show about Buenos Aires]  Avenida Nueve del Julio, often called the world's widest avenue. Now, Vic wears the world's widest lapels, and this is the perfect place to show them off. Look for him here.

• The Chief : [showing the Casa Rosada in the slide show]  You know, that fortress reminds me of when I was a little chieflet. My cousin, Winnister, and I used to build sand castles. Oh, we'd spend hours on a single castle. And each night, the tide would come in and sweep all of our work away. And each day, we'd return and begin again. And this got me thinking. One day, I turned to Willister and said, "in a sense, isn't everybody building sand castles?" And he... I will never forget this, he looked at me and said, "if they try to copy ours, I'll smack them with my shovel!" Oh, Willister.