The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Maternal Capacitance (2009)

Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sheldon Cooper : Leonard, I had no idea your siblings were so much more successful than you.

  Raj Koothrappali : Yeah, you're like the Jar-Jar Binks of the Hofstadter family.

  Howard Wolowitz : [Imitating Jar-jar]  Oh, meesa think yousa lookin' so-so sad.

  Leonard Hofstadter : You know, rather than mock me, my friends might realize that this is difficult and try to help me through it.

  Raj Koothrappali : Nope, I think mocking you is more fun.

  Howard Wolowitz : [imitating JarJar Binks]  Next time, don't yousa bring momma to work, Okee-day?

  [Raj and Howard laugh] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : [Leonard's mother comes back]  That was fast.

  Beverly : Oh, the middle stall was occupied, I'll have to try again later.

  Sheldon Cooper : It's totally understandable. In bladder voiding as in real estate, it's location, location, location.

  Beverly : So where were we?

  Leonard Hofstadter : [to his mother]  Howard lives with his mother, and Raj can't speak to women unless he's drunk. Go!

  Beverly : Well, that's fascinating. Selective mutism is quite rare. On the other hand, an adult Jewish male living with his mother is so common it borders on sociological cliché.

  Howard Wolowitz : It's just temporary, I pay rent.

  Leonard Hofstadter : He lives in the same room where his bassinet was.

  Beverly : You know, both selective mutism and an inability to separate from one's mother can stem from a pathological fear of women. It might explain why the two of you have created an ersatz homosexual marriage to satisfy your need for intimacy.

  Howard Wolowitz : Say what?

  [Raj whispers in Howard's ear] 

  Howard Wolowitz : That's basically what I just said!

  Leonard Hofstadter : [to Raj]  You brought your husband to work, you know the rules.

  [imitating JarJar Binks] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : Meesa thinkin' yousa lookin' pretty sad now too, betcha betcha.

• [first lines] 

  Raj Koothrappali : [the boys are playing Rock Band] 

  [singing] 

  Raj Koothrappali : I don't ever wanna feel / Like I did that day / Take me to the place I love / Take me all the way /

  [falsetto] 

  Raj Koothrappali : I don't ever wanna feel / Like I did that day / Take me to the place I lo-

  [sees Penny in the doorway] 

  Penny : Fellas, please.

  Howard Wolowitz : Penny, come on, we were just finding our sound.

  Penny : You found it. It's the sound of a cat being run over by a lawnmower.

• Leonard Hofstadter : Why are you doing this?

  Howard Wolowitz : You know the rules; you brought your mom to work, you must suffaaaaaaaah!

• Sheldon Cooper : He's holding the phone to his left ear. Ears do not cross hemispheres, so he's using the analytical rather than the emotional side of the brain, suggesting that he has no personal relationship with the caller.

  Leonard Hofstadter : No, I didn't realize it had been so long... Sure, I guess there's no other choice but just to go ahead and do it.

  Sheldon Cooper : He's referrng to an activity he has done before. It's unpleasant and needs to be repeated. This suggests some sort of invasive medical test like perhaps a colonoscopy.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Aren't there any other options? There's not a lot of room. It's going to be uncomfortable.

  Sheldon Cooper : Yes, yes, I'm definitely going with colonoscopy.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Okay, bye.

  [Leonard looks up to see everyone looking at him] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : My mother's coming to visit.

  Howard Wolowitz : [to Sheldon]  How about that, you were right.

• Beverly : Leonard's younger brother, Michael, is a tenured law professor at Harvard, and his sister just successfully grew a human pancreas in an adolescent gibbon.

  Howard Wolowitz : So, she's close to curing diabetes?

  Beverly : Why else would you grow a pancreas in a teenaged gibbon?

  Howard Wolowitz : Wow, you must be very proud.

  Beverly : Why? They're not my accomplishments.