The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Griffin Equivalency (2008)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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[Raj is acting arrogant as a result of being named one of People magazine's "30 Under 30 to Watch"]
Sheldon Cooper : There's a tribe in Papua New Guinea where, when a hunter flaunts his success to the rest of the village, they kill him and drive away evil spirits with a drum made of his skin. Superstitious nonsense, of course - but one can see their point.
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Gablehauser : [all in Raj's office when Dr. Gablehauser walks in] Hello, boys.
Raj Koothrappali : Dr. Gablehauser.
Gablehauser : Dr. Koothrappali.
Leonard Hofstadter : Dr. Gablehauser.
Gablehauser : Dr. Hofstadter.
Sheldon Cooper : Dr. Gablehauser.
Gablehauser : Dr. Cooper.
Howard Wolowitz : Dr. Gablehauser.
Gablehauser : *Mr.* Wolowitz.
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Sheldon Cooper : Baby wipe?
Penny : Why do you have those?
Leonard Hofstadter , Howard Wolowitz : No, no! Don't! Don't!
Sheldon Cooper : I'll tell you why. I had to sanitize my hands because the university replaced the paper towels in the rest rooms, with hot air blowers.
Penny : Oh I thought the blowers were more sanitary.
Leonard Hofstadter , Howard Wolowitz : Why? Please, don't!
Sheldon Cooper : Hot air blowers are incubators and spewers of bacteria and pestilence. Frankly, it'd be more hygienic if they just had a plague-infested gibbon sneeze my hands dry.
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Sheldon Cooper : Look, I found my missing neutrino.
Howard Wolowitz : Oh, good. Now we can take his picture off the milk carton.
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[Raj was named one of People magazine's "30 Under 30 to Watch"]
Leonard Hofstadter : We're going to go apologize to Raj and invite him out to dinner.
Sheldon Cooper : Apologize? For what?
Leonard Hofstadter : He came over last night with some pretty good news, and we weren't very supportive.
Sheldon Cooper : I sense you're trying to tell me something.
Howard Wolowitz : You were a colossal asshat.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh! No! I beg to differ. Of the three of us, I was by far the most supportive.
Leonard Hofstadter : Really. Do tell.
Sheldon Cooper : How will Raj ever reach true greatness if his friends lower the bar for him? When I was eleven, my sister bought our father a "World's Greatest Dad" coffee mug; and, frankly, the man coasted until the day he died.
Leonard Hofstadter : Okay, let's try it this way: what if this People magazine thing is the best Raj is ever going to achieve?
Sheldon Cooper : I had not considered that. I often forget other people have limitations. It's so sad.
Howard Wolowitz : He can feel sadness?
Leonard Hofstadter : Not really; it's what you and I would call condescension.
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Leonard Hofstadter : That may well be, but it wouldn't kill us to meet some new people.
Sheldon Cooper : For the record, it could kill us to meet new people. They could be murderers, or the carriers of unusual pathogens... And I'm not insane, my mother had me tested.
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Leonard Hofstadter : If we do get a new friend he should be a guy you can trust. A guy who has your back.
Howard Wolowitz : And he should have a lot of money and live in a cool place down by the beach where we could throw parties.
Sheldon Cooper : He should share our love of technology.
Howard Wolowitz : And he should know a lot of women.
Leonard Hofstadter : Let's see: money, women, technology. Okay, we're agreed. Our new friend is going to be... Iron Man.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Are you proud of yourself?
Sheldon Cooper : In general, yes.
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Penny : I can't believe you. Raj is celebrating a tremendous accomplishment and you're not even gonna be there to support him?
Sheldon Cooper : A tremendous accomplishment would be if the planetary body he discovered were plummeting toward Earth and he exploded it with his mind.
Howard Wolowitz : That would be cool. I'd go to that reception.
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Sheldon Cooper : What makes accidentally noticing a hunk of rock that's been traipsing around the solar system for billions of years more noteworthy than any other scientific accomplishment made by someone under 30?
