The Mentalist (TV Series)

Pilot (2008)

Simon Baker: Patrick Jane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Patrick Jane : I was thinking: why do magicians have beautiful girl assistants?

  Dr. Linus Wagner : Why?

  Patrick Jane : Because they're reliable distracters of attention. People will look at a beautiful girl for a long time before they look where they should be looking if they want to see how the trick really works.

• Patrick Jane : [Police enter after a wife shoots her husband]  Honestly, it's - it's not as bad as it looks.

• Grace Van Pelt : You poor, sad man. The Kingdom of God is a real place.

  Patrick Jane : Okay, later tonight, when Rigsby asks you to come back to his hotel room...

  [Rigsby chokes and coughs in surprise] 

  Patrick Jane : Say yes.

  Grace Van Pelt : Excuse me?

  Patrick Jane : I know, you were planning on refusing him very curtly. First week on the job, you want to set a tone, no monkey business. But why not? Rigsby's an excellent lover, I'm sure. Tough, but fair. Right?

  [Rigsby glares at him] 

  Patrick Jane : Right.

  Grace Van Pelt : The Kingdom of God is a real place, Mr. Jane. And you have an immortal soul.

  Patrick Jane : Oh, I do so hope you're wrong.

• Patrick Jane : You know what your problem is, my friend? You enjoy your work a little too much. You're a ghoul. If you don't get horny reading Fangoria, I'm Britney Spears.

  Brett Partridge : I - I resent that!

  Teresa Lisbon : This is you trying to redeem yourself, is it?

  Patrick Jane : I'm sorry. He irks me. He's irksome.

• Dr. Linus Wagner : Why is it you can't sleep?

  Patrick Jane : Because I can't get the good pills without talking to a doctor.

  Dr. Linus Wagner : And you don't like talking to doctors.

  Patrick Jane : Well, you know. The always want to be the smartest person in the room, don't they? When in fact that's me, obviously.

• Juniper Tolliver : I don't understand. You're psychic?

  Patrick Jane : No, just paying attention. I used to make a good living pretending to be a psychic. I tell you this because I want you to understand there's no point hiding things from me.

• Patrick Jane : You know, when I was a boy, we had a farm. There was a lot of work. I was kind of a lazy kid.

  Dr. Linus Wagner : Yes?

  Patrick Jane : I'd always be trying to get my little brother, Jimmy, to do my chores for me. One day, I promised him a dollar if he'd cut the firewood. Well... he opened up an artery in his leg on the saw, and he bled to death. Died... doing my chores for me.

  Dr. Linus Wagner : You know... that's almost exactly the same thing that happened to Johnny Cash.

  Patrick Jane : Is it really? Wow. That's spooky.

• Patrick Jane : Be reasonable. This is my case.

  Teresa Lisbon : *Your* case?

  Patrick Jane : Red John's mine.

  Teresa Lisbon : Red John doesn't belong to anyone.

  Patrick Jane : He belongs to me!

• Patrick Jane : [reading a letter]  "Dear Mr. Jane, I do not like to be slandered in the media, especially by a dirty money grubbing fraud. If you were a real psychic, instead of a dishonest little worm, you wouldn't need to open the door to see what I've done to your lovely wife and child."

• Grace Van Pelt : Mr. Jane, I have a question regarding your previous career path.

  Patrick Jane : Fire away.

  Grace Van Pelt : When you met with other psychics, real psychics, could they tell you were just pretending?

  Patrick Jane : There's no such thing as real psychics.

  Grace Van Pelt : I beg to differ. My cousin Yolonda is a psychic.

  Patrick Jane : Your cousin is deluded or dishonest or both.

  Wayne Rigsby : Hey. Steady.

  Grace Van Pelt : No, no. He's entitled to his opinion. He's wrong, though. She has power.

  Patrick Jane : [a waitress brings the check]  Thank you.

  Grace Van Pelt : She can communicate with the other side. I've seen her do it myself.

  Patrick Jane : She let you speak with someone that's gone?

  Grace Van Pelt : Yes.

  Patrick Jane : Someone that you love and still miss very much?

  Grace Van Pelt : Yes.

  Patrick Jane : You wanted her power to be real, so it was.

  Grace Van Pelt : No.

  Wayne Rigsby : You're so sure you're right. Science don't know everything.

• Juniper Tolliver : You're psychic?

  Patrick Jane : No, just paying attention.

• Patrick Jane : You really think I would set you up so nicely and let you pull a loaded gun on me?... I took the bullets out earlier.

• Grace Van Pelt : Five hundred years in the future, it could be totally normal to communicate with the other side.

  Patrick Jane : The other side? Your father's a football coach, yeah?

  Grace Van Pelt : How did you know that?

  Patrick Jane : It's obvious from your whole demeanor. My point is, didn't dad always say life is like football? When that final whistle blows, the game is over, done. There is no more. There is no other side. This is it. Lobster and bread rolls and nautical kitsch and then, psh. Nothingness.

• Patrick Jane : Red John thinks of himself as a showman, an artist. He has a strong sense of theater. In all the previous killings, he made sure that the first thing that anyone sees is the face on the wall. You see the face first and you know. You know what's happened and you feel dread. Then, and only then, do you see the body of the victim; always in that order. Here, it's the opposite. The first thing you see is the body. Then you have to look around to see the face on the wall. Doesn't play nearly as well, does it?

  Teresa Lisbon : Depends on your taste, I suppose.

  Patrick Jane : No, come on. The killer could have painted on the correct wall, here. But he didn't because he didn't know better because he isn't Red John.

• Patrick Jane : You know what I see when I look at your husband? I see a warm, loving, generous man. A little vain, maybe. Selfish, controlling. But a decent man.

  Juniper Tolliver : Yes.

  Patrick Jane : So why do you suspect him of murdering your daughter?

  Juniper Tolliver : I don't. The McCluskey boy did it.

  Patrick Jane : Yes, that's what the police say. But you think they're wrong. Why?

  Juniper Tolliver : I don't know. I... I... I don't know. I...

  Patrick Jane : Tell me.

  Juniper Tolliver : Last year, they... they have been so strange with each other. And neither one would admit that anything was wrong, and I think that... I think that she tried to tell me once and I didn't... I... god. Oh, god.

  Patrick Jane : Did you ask him if he killed her?

  Juniper Tolliver : What would he say?

  Patrick Jane : Most wives can tell when their husbands are lying.

  Juniper Tolliver : Yes. Yes. I... I don't want tea. The McCluskey boy did it.

  Patrick Jane : Maybe.

  Juniper Tolliver : You think he did it, too.

  Patrick Jane : I trust a mother's instinct.

• Kimball Cho : I like the husband for it. He hired some hooker he knows to create an alibi, flies home, fillets the spouse, flies back again. It's a classic, elaborate, clever, but ultimately stupid plan.

  Patrick Jane : Have you looked at his PGA tournament record?

  Kimball Cho : It's not bad. Six mil career earnings.

  Patrick Jane : Hmm. For coming in second and third. You put him on the eighteenth tee with a big one on the line, like night follows day, he'll shank it. He's a choker. He doesn't have the nerve to kill his wife. Didn't do it.

  Kimball Cho : Hmm.

  Teresa Lisbon : Are you suggesting we drop a prime suspect because he's never won a major?

  Patrick Jane : Oh, no, no, no. I'm just making idle conversation.

• Grace Van Pelt : [watching Jane perform a magic trick with his straw]  How'd you do that?

  Patrick Jane : Telekinesis.

  Kimball Cho : He blew on it.

  Patrick Jane : That is another way to do it.

• Tag Randolph : This is insane. I didn't... I didn't kill Alison.

  Kimball Cho : How do you explain your hair in the envelope?

  Tag Randolph : Either it's a mistake or I'm being framed.

  Kimball Cho : Who would want to frame you? We don't want to, if that's what you're thinking.

  Patrick Jane : [watching, whispering to Van Pelt]  He and Alison were lovers.

  Kimball Cho : Who would want to frame you, Tag?

  Tag Randolph : My brother.

  Kimball Cho : Why would he want to do that?

  Tag Randolph : Alison and I were lovers.

  Grace Van Pelt : [turning to Jane]  I think you are psychic. You're just afraid to admit it.

• Dr. Linus Wagner : What led you to me? Not that I'm saying I did it. I'm just... asking.

  Patrick Jane : When we first met, you said you didn't know who Red John was. But you have books on criminal psychiatry there that have chapters on him. You're the Randolph family doctor, so you could easily get a strand of Tag's hair, and being a doctor, you could hack up another human without difficulty. It's obvious it was you.

• [deleted scene] 

  Patrick Jane : Would you drop me at the airport, please?

  Teresa Lisbon : You're leaving?

  Patrick Jane : Well, I have to get my shoes x-rayed anyway, so I figured I'd get on a plane.

  Teresa Lisbon : And off you go on your merry way. These lives lost here mean nothing to you.

  Patrick Jane : Not nothing.

  [seeing her expression] 

  Patrick Jane : I'm confused. You don't want me here and it's not Red John, so I'm going. What's your problem?

  Teresa Lisbon : We don't know that it's not Red John, and what I want is not the point.

  [realization dawns on her] 

  Teresa Lisbon : Oh. Wait a minute. I get it. You're just trying to get me to ask you to stay.

  Patrick Jane : Why would you think that?

  [to Cho] 

  Patrick Jane : Why would she think that?

  Teresa Lisbon : Because A, you've got nowhere to go, and B, you're an egomaniac. You think it's impossible that I really and truly do not want to work with you. You think that deep down inside, I've got a grudging respect for your genius. The truth is, deep down, I'm scared of you. You've got no boundaries, you got no common sense. You're filled with all this... this stuff that you refuse to acknowledge. One day, you're gonna create one mother of a tragedy for yourself and everybody around you. I don't want to be there when it happens, so we'll drive you to the airport. It's fine.

  [to Rigsby] 

  Teresa Lisbon : Take a left on Bob Hope.

• Morgan Tolliver : Who are you?

  Patrick Jane : I'm the police. Did you kill your daughter?

  Morgan Tolliver : How dare you.

  Patrick Jane : I asked you a simple question, sir. Did you kill your daughter?

  Morgan Tolliver : No. I did not kill my daughter. Now you get the hell out of my house.

  [Juniper breaks into tears, then hurries out of the room] 

  Morgan Tolliver : June? June, what's the matter with you?

  [to Patrick] 

  Morgan Tolliver : I'm gonna have your badge.

  Patrick Jane : An innocent man would have punched me by now.

• Patrick Jane : Hello, Mrs. Tolliver.

  Juniper Tolliver : Who are you?

  Patrick Jane : My name is Patrick Jane. I'm here to help you.

• Patrick Jane : [arriving at a crime scene]  Morning, everybody! How was your flight?

  Teresa Lisbon : Go away. You're on suspension.

  Patrick Jane : [paying his cabbie]  Thank you.

  [catching up with the team] 

  Patrick Jane : Mandated leave. Ends next week.

  Teresa Lisbon : So come back next week.

  Patrick Jane : Whew. Hot enough for you?

  Teresa Lisbon : Which one of you jackasses told him? It was you, wasn't it, Cho?

  Kimball Cho : Yes, it was.

  Patrick Jane : Of course he called me. It's Red John. You can't keep me out of this. Why would you want to?

  Teresa Lisbon : You got a man killed. There's consequences.

• [Lisbon ignores Jane as he enters the CBI office] 

  Patrick Jane : Good morning.

  Grace Van Pelt : Can I help you?

  Patrick Jane : You must be Van Pelt. Pleasure. Patrick Jane.

  Grace Van Pelt : Oh, hi. Good to meet you. Agent Cho said you left town.

  Patrick Jane : No. Nowhere to go.

  Grace Van Pelt : Okay. Um... do you want that desk over there or this one? I mean, that one gets more light.

  Patrick Jane : That one. More light, by all means.

  [Van Pelt leaves] 

  Patrick Jane : Very pleasant addition to the Serious Crimes family.

  Teresa Lisbon : Oh. Hi. When did you get here?

• Grace Van Pelt : [reading a note delivered to Jane's hotel room]  "Greetings, old friend. It's been a while. I hope you are keeping well. I am thriving and happy. I have twelve wives now and will soon begin courting number thirteen. Why can't you catch me? You must feel so powerless and stupid and sad. Oh, well. All the best. Red John."

  Kimball Cho : That sounds like the real deal to me.

  Patrick Jane : Sounds like Red John. It's not. Red John wouldn't risk capture just to taunt me.

• Patrick Jane : Closed case donuts are here.

  [the team ignores him] 

  Patrick Jane : I just went to get sleeping pills, I swear to god. I... I didn't even want to go. You know I didn't want to go.

  Grace Van Pelt : [skeptical]  Right.

  Wayne Rigsby : Yeah, you didn't set Wagner up. Didn't figure it was him days ago.

  Kimball Cho : You didn't let us tear apart the victim's family simply to satisfy your childish need for drama.

  Patrick Jane : Yeah, that family was screwed up anyway. Don't blame yourselves, guys.

• Teresa Lisbon : Don't even start. I'm still angry.

  Patrick Jane : I'm sorry.

  Teresa Lisbon : No, you're not.

  [he sets an origami animal on her desk] 

  Teresa Lisbon : [sarcastic]  A frog? Well, this makes everything better, doesn't it?

  [as Jane leaves, she gasps and smiles to herself as the frog "hops" once across the desk] 

• Patrick Jane : An innocent man would have punched me by now.