- Wendy Watson: I have a question. Why are you guys in wetsuits and I'm in this Honey Ryder "Thunderball" nightmare?
- Guy Goddard: Honey Ryder's from "Dr. No."
- Wendy Watson: Ah, you make me sick.
- The Middleman: Fire and brimstone! We do not smoke in the Middlemobile!
- Guy Goddard: Why not? Is there something combustible in here?
- The Middleman: Only my temper, when I see a man willingly invite cancer into his body!
- Guy Goddard: Cancer? Everyone knows the Surgeon General is a red dupe.
- Wendy Watson: Every time I get into a relationship, I can always visualize how it's going to end. But with Tyler, I can't. It's totally killing me. Do you have any idea what that's like?
- The Middleman: No. Sounds like something out of one of those hateful independent films. This is exactly why I stick to westerns.
- Guy Goddard: Chickie-baby's never been to a supervillain island lair, has she? Sweet, when a bad man builds a home for a world-destroying ray, the first thing he buys...
- The Middleman: Are an automated missile defense package...
- Guy Goddard: Barrier mines...
- The Middleman: Android guards who will keep protecting the island centuries after the supervillain has died...
- Guy Goddard: And a lot of Scandinavian furniture.