Take Me Home (2011)

Amber Jaeger: Claire

Photos 

Quotes 

• Thom : I have 83 dollars to my name.

  Claire : I thought you were a therapist.

  Thom : Uh, just playin' around.

  Claire : So you're, you're poor?

  Thom : No, *you're* poor. I have 83 dollars.

• Thom : Eventually you have to settle down.

  Claire : Some people settle down, and some people just settle.

  Thom : Well, it's clear which category you fit into.

• Thom : I thought you said you didn't fly.

  Claire : Well it's time I got over it. Those pilots know what they're doing. And it's safer than driving.

  Thom : Depends on who's driving.

• Claire : Did you ever notice how really lonely men have large DVD collections?

• Thom : Did you know that out of all the mammals on earth, only a quarter of them are monogamous. The rest

  [wandering gesture] 

  Thom : sleeping around.

  Claire : Many of which eat their own poop.

• Claire : [Enters apartment to find her husband and another woman in the living room] 

  Eric : Oh, hey, hon. This is my... uh... Candy... This is Candy. You're not at work.

  Claire : I'm not at work. I'm right here.

  [pause] 

  Claire : Candy, could you excuse us?

  Candy : Sure.

  [Awkward five seconds goes by] 

  Candy : Oh, you mean...

  [points to herself, then leaves] 

  Candy : .

  Eric : Ok, now before you get all in a huff, just hear me out, ok? Candy's a new manager's assistant while Dawn's in Anaheim. I'm getting her acclimated.

  Claire : To our home?

  Eric : Yeah, we were in the neighborhood, ok? And I left my laptop...

  Claire : Oh, Eric.

  Eric : What? Claire...

  Claire : Don't tell this to me, Eric.

  Eric : What do you want to hear?

  Claire : The truth.

  Eric : The truth?

  Claire : That you'd prefer spending time filing things in Candy's drawers than home with your wife.

  Eric : You work just as much as I do. Ok, so...

  Claire : This is like your side project, isn't it, Eric?

  Eric : Oh, no, no, no, not right now. Not the big picture speech.

  Claire : Working on it. It's like the bedroom walls that we never get around to re-painting... I mean, what are we doing here?

  Candy : [Sticking her head around the corner]  Can I say something?

  [Eric and Claire turn to look at Candy] 

  Candy : Actually, I really like the paint in the bedroom.

• Claire : Hey, how's your boyfriend? What's his name again?

  Suzanne : Chris?

  Claire : Chris.

  Suzanne : Oh, oh we broke up.

  Claire : Oh, you did? I'm sorry.

  Suzanne : Oh, it's ok. We never really fit anyway.

  Claire : Yeah?

  Suzanne : Um-hum. I mean, we tried to make it work but... he always wanted me to be somebody I'm not. You know?

  Claire : Totally.

  Suzanne : Correcting my grammar. Buying me clothes I didn't like. Putting a pillowcase over my head and bending me over the furniture. I just never got used to it.

  Claire : Hm!

  Suzanne : But, live and learn. Good guy, just not the one for me.

  Claire : Yeah.

• Thom : If you're going past Newark I gotta charge you round trip. I don't make the rules, that's, that's headquarters... You can't go past New Brunswick either, that's, that's corporation limit. In fact, even New Brunswick's pushing it.

  Claire : Will you shut up? I'm not paying you to talk, I'm paying you to drive. That's why I took a cab, so I could sit in the back, while some foreigner who speaks broken English could take me where I need to go!