- Gabrielle has a fit when one of Carlos's wealthy massage clients, Virginia Hildebrand, makes them an offer they can't refuse, but a startling discovery leaves Gabby second guessing. Meanwhile, Lynette grows suspicious that Tom is cheating on her with the sultry Anne Schilling, a promoter who wants to book Tom's new garage band for a show. One of the Scavo twins, Porter, gets grounded for getting into trouble with the law... again. Susan and Jackson break up when she wants to continue to keep their tryst casual, while he wants to move forward with their romance. Later, when Susan shows up at his house to tries to surprise him, the surprise is on her as she finds a naked woman in his shower. Elsewhere, the bond between Bree and Katherine grows, when Bree meets Orson's old college roommate, Peter, and she tries to set him up with the lonely Katherine. Also, Mrs. McCluskey enlists the help of her shady younger sister, Roberta, to dig up dirt on Dave and to find out what his plans are for the entire neighborhood, while the superficial Edie continues to be in denial to Dave's temper and the secrets he is hiding when he contradicts his life story to her.—Anonymous
- Lynette fears Tom's midlife crisis has finally reached affair stage when she sees Parker's mate Kirby's mother flirt with Tom and discovers he lied to stay behind late in the band rehearsal shed. In fact Tom just plays games, but discovers Parker is up to a more adult game there. Discovering that holding hot lover Jackson Braddock only throws him into another's arms makes Susan reconsider how much she loves him. Carlos is startled when country club massage client Virginia Hildebrand got an orgasm from his hands. He and then Gabrielle, who finds out later, are startled how she wants to enjoy paid personal services. Bree solves Katherine's three year sex drought, only to discover the lover she set her up with has a prison past. McClusky calls her kid sister to help to snoop into Dave Williams's dark family past.—KGF Vissers
- One of Carlos's wealthy massage clients makes his family an offer they can't refuse; Lynette suspects Tom of cheating; Bree tries to set Katherine up on a date; Karen enlists the help of her shady younger sister, Roberta, to dig up dirt on Dave.
- "Desperate Housewives" - "There's Always a Woman" - Nov. 2, 2008
Mary Alice tells us about Carlos becoming an expert on how to make women happy as a masseur at the country club, and we see a montage of him working on women. Then we see him make one woman a little too happy. At the end of the day, he asks another masseur if he's ever accidentally given a woman an orgasm. The other guy is impressed but unconvinced of actual orgasm. Then they check his tip envelope and she gave him a $300 tip. He gives Gaby his tips when he gets home but doesn't tell Gaby why they're so high.(He's also very grey this week).
Mary Alice tells about dangerous predatory women as we see a hot blond from behind. It's Gail O'Grady who is chatting up Tom near a warehouse. Lynette sees this and gets out to say hi. Her name is Ann Schilling. Kirby's mom. Lynette is confused as to what Tom is doing with the hot blond. They walk into a warehouse, it's a rehearsal space for Tom's band. Ann's a realtor. Lynette says she thinks it's great, better than him cheating.
Susan is confiding in someone about Jackson breaking up with her after she told him he couldn't move in. It's a new painter, Frank. She's actually asking his advice. He tells her to find out where it's going to go and not be stupid.
Carlos gets a ride home from Virginia Hildebrand, the orgasm lady (played by Frances Conroy from "Six Feet Under.") Gaby is thrilled to meet her and thanks her for the tips. Virginia says Carlos is helping her chronic back problem. Gaby says she knows he knows how to hit the sweet spot. Virginia agrees and says so much so that she's offering him $50,000, per month to accompany her on a two month trip to Europe. Carlos tries to beg off saying he doesn't want to leave Gaby alone with the kids. But once Gaby hears how much, she says "Arriverderci!" As Virginia departs Carlos again tries to beg off saying he'll be endangering his job. Gaby says Virginia's word of mouth about "what you did for her" will have her old lady friends lining up down the block so he won't need his country club job. Carlos doesn't like where this is going.
Orson enters Bree's office to announce he's hired them out to cater on an old friends's party for 80. Bree is thrilled, Katherine less so. Orson is working hard and gives a laundry list of things he's done. Most of which Katherine was going to do. Since there's no work left Bree gives Katherine the afternoon off telling her to get a pedicure. Katherine asks "what do you bet I take my socks off and see Orson's already done it for me?" Later Bree finds Katherine cleaning the already clean fridge. Katherine says she's thinking of moving to Maryland to where Dylan lives with her husband and kids. Bree wonders why since she's a hot mama with a life here. Katherine she says she doesn't have a life, she has a job and she might as well throw in the towel and go be a grandma. She spills she hasn't had sex in two years. Bree, alarmed but understanding, tells her when she's done with the fridge to scrub the oven.
Edie goes to visit McCluskey in the hospital with a nice flower arrangement. Edie says she's not mad, she's furious and confused. McCluskey blames it on new meds that made her loopy. She says she has her marbles back. Edie says she'll see her soon. But McCluskey says she's going to call her sister and stay with her. Of course she was faking and the moment Edie leaves she calls her sister and tells her to get to the hospital ASAP.
Back in Bree's office Bree meets Orson's old friend Peter Hickey. He comes to tell her about the family reunion he wants catered. Bree's romance lightbulb goes off and she starts asking leading questions. After she learns he's single she says after they've discussed business she'll have her "best chef" make a sample dinner. Katherine is appalled at the set-up concept. Bree says it's perfect since technically it's a business dinner. Katherine says fine but she's not dressing up or flirting. Then Bree shows her a video of him on her iPhone and Katherine is in.
Roberta, McCluskey's sister comes to visit. She's played by Lily Tomlin and she's smoking in the hospital and dressed up as biker chick in leather and cheetah print. McCluskey fills her in on Dave and Roberta wants to know how she can help. (They apparently were pretty nutty as younger women.) She works for a phone company and McCluskey wants her to pull Dave's records and let her stay with Roberta while they dig up dirt on him. Also she gives her a beer. (They're cute, and bonus inside joke, both actresses played Jed Bartlet's secretary on "The West Wing.")
Susan goes to visit Jackson with some food. The door is open and the shower is running. So, of course, she gets undressed, goes to the shower and..... there's a woman in the shower who promptly squirts shampoo in Susan's eyes who then flails around shoving the woman into the wall and knocking her out.
In Jackson's kitchen the woman ices her head. Susan asks who she is. She's D'arcy. She says he never mentioned a girlfriend. Susan says when guy's go slut-hunting they don't normally mention the girlfriend. Jackson arrives and is confused. Susan says she was ready to talk about her future but has since changed her mind.
Bob (or Lee) arrives at the Scavo's with a bottle of liquour as a thanks for evicting the band. One of the twins' is on his way out with Kirby, so Lynette says to thank his mom for finding the place. He mentions she dropped off some old furniture to the place including a futon. Lynette tries to hide her surprise. Bob congratulates her on not being freaked out that her hubby essentially has a bachelor pad.
The band finishes up a song and Dave compliments them. Orson, Carlos, and Tom go to get a beer and Dave says as an aside to Mike that they're actually terrible. Mike agrees. Dave says Mike is actually really good though, with the real heart of a blues man. Mike says he picked it up in prison. He calls band practice highlight of the week. Dave suggests bumping up more practice. Mike can only handle twice a week saying he has work and obligations to MJ. He's also met a woman. Dave pushes for a Saturday afternoon rehearsal instead. Mike is curious why the band is such a big deal to Dave. He says he's just having a good time. Mike doesn't buy it.
The phone rings at the Scavo house, it's late and it's Tom. He says they really got into a groove at rehearsal and to not wait up for him. She hears talking outside and sees Orson and Mike. She goes to the rehearsal space and finds Tom playing video games. He says he just wanted to hang out for a bit. She wants to know what's going on and if he's moving out on her. He wonders why she would think that. She says it would be the final stage of his mid-life crisis following the sports car, the band, and the desire to quit his job. Then she brings up Ann Schilling. Tom freaks out and says he can't believe that Lynette thinks he could do that. He then stops and says these past few months while they've been fighting he thought she was just being a wet blanket but if she's really thinking he's having an affair he'll stop it all right now. They hug and as they do we see from Tom's POV a torn condom wrapper. He deftly maneuvers around and covers it with his foot. Lynette says Tom should teach her how to play the videogame when he gets home. He pretends he thinks that's a great idea.
Gaby goes to the country club to get him out of work for the trip. She chats up Carlos' colleague, Clay, who of course, confused, eventually spills about Virginia and Carlos' secret. Gaby, of course, is furious and goes to Virginia's mansion to confront them.
Jackson comes to confront Susan. He tells her she has no right to be mad since he tried to commit and she pushed him away. He tried to move on and she punishes him. She says after two bad marriages love is not her friend. He says he never even had a real girlfriend and he loves her and is confused. Susan wishes they could start over and wonders if they can. Jackson walks out and then calls her pretending to call her for the first time. (Apparently his last name is O'Braddock.) He asks her out on a date.
Gaby arrives at the mansion and storms in past the maid who makes her wait in the living room. Once the maid leaves Gaby sneaks into the room. She watches Carlos massage her. Virginia spots Gaby in a mirror and asks Carlos to leave. Gaby confronts her about the big "O." Virginia says she's mortified Carlos can tell and that it was just the one time. Gaby says it's the last time. Virginia is flattered that such a young and beautiful woman considers her a threat and since she's a widow and she really has come to cherish Carlos' friendship couldn't Gaby cut her some slack? Gaby is sympathetic but thinks things should end before they get weirder. Virginia then floats the idea of hiring Gaby as her personal shopper since her trip is to see the couture collection in Europe. Gaby takes the bait. Carlos re-enters. (And doesn't smell or hear Gaby who is standing right in front of him?)
In the Britt-Williams kitchen Dave is working on the band logo- Blue Odyssey- as Edie comes home. It was his brother's band's name. Edie didn't know he had a brother. His name was Steve, he was a great guy, got caught up in drugs, went to prison, and was killed by another inmate. It was ruled self-defense so the other inmate - Mike obviously- served his time and got out. Edie says it might be good for him to talk about things like this. He says he has his own way of dealing with things.
Orson comes home excited about band practice -they're letting him sing lead on "Hotel California"!- Bree distracted by the paper says that's nice. She asks if a blue convertible is still parked in front of Katherine's. It is. He's been there for four hours. Orson is impressed with her matchmaking skills until he hears it's Peter. It turns out Orson didn't meet him in college, he met him in prison. Bree can't believe such a refined, handsome man was in jail. (These qualities did not help him behind bars, snarks Orson). He was a surgeon who got busted for "organ trafficking." She calls Katherine, who's lying in bed with Peter. Bree is upset. Katherine is thrilled and thanks her profusely for this magical night. She says if she's not careful this guy could steal her heart. Bree says if he tries to make sure she calls but doesn't tell her the truth.
In the kitchen the next day Bree hands Katherine a Cosmo at 10 in the morning. She tells her, Katherine cries and Bree apologizes. Katherine says that's it, she's going to Maryland. Katherine says Bree doesn't get it, when they started the business she and Bree were in the same boat and now Bree is happy and she's just a pathetic woman who hops into bed with the first pancreas-thief who kisses her. (Dana Delaney is killing this scene, very funny, shticky, but funny). Bree says she feels like Katherine's like her sister and says if she left she would be very, very unhappy. Katherine decides to stay and they make pies.
Tom comes into the bedroom and asks Lynette if Porter's still at Kirby's. Lynette wonders why he's been antsy all night. He gives a lame excuse to leave: he thinks he left the freezer door open at the restaurant. He goes to check. Lynette looks suspicious.
We cut to Ann Schilling's sexy legs and her telling someone she's glad someone could get away. That someone turns out to be.... Porter! Who hears a car door slam outside the rehearsal space.He goes to look and it's his dad. Tom goes into the warehouse and confronts him with the condom. At first he thought it was one of the other guys in the band and then he realized it was Porter. He asks where the girl is. Porter says she's naked and that Tom doesn't know her. Tom says he has 60 seconds to get her out. Ann stumbles out putting on her clothes and rushes past a car that, of course, has Lynette spying in it.
Katherine passes Mike getting out of his car all duded up. He was on a date. It went very poorly apparently. He says he just wants somebody nice to have a cup a coffee with. Katherine says it's too late for coffee but proffering a lemon, says she can offer lemonade. They walk off.
Tom and Porter walk towards the Scavo house and Tom tells his son that he's sorry he's being hard on him but he doesn't think Porter is emotionally ready for sex. They hug. Porter offers to put the car cover on first. Tom goes in and Porter runs off to Ann Schilling's car. He tells her they're in the clear. As they kiss, Mary Alice comes back to tell us about the dangerous women in the world: some are lovers, as we see Ann and Porter; some are wives enraged by those they trusted as see Lynette tearfully pack a bag; others are predators, deviously setting traps to get what they want, as we see Virginia brush her hair.
Roberta and McCluskey meet up in a front yard, Roberta says she pulled the phone records and that Dave is keeping a secret indeed.
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