Oh by all that is holy was this ever double-barrel shotgun mega-BAD!! I couldn't stop laughing but it wasn't exactly in a good way, it was because I was so astonished at how dirt cheap everything was and just how little effort was put into every aspect of it, and what really cracked me up was the dead flat line delivery of the 'actors', the way they sounded it was like it was probably the first takes of the scenes and that they were in such a rush to get the project wrapped up that they didn't bother with little things like proper rehearsals. It felt pretty shameless, and came off more like someone's grainy fantasy role playing home weekend movie than a coherent legit picture of any kind, the complete lack of technical or directorial expertise was glaringly apparent throughout every minute of it! And while not exactly what you'd call complicated the plot was so drawn-out and mind-numbingly dull that I couldn't really follow it, there was some nonsense about a bland old man with a handlebar moustache who was supposed to be some badass cop and some idiot in a bathrobe and a cheap halloween skull mask who was meant to be some wish-granting powerful demon and vampires.. Who the hell cares, it was mostly nothing but boring anyway, which I'll have you know is the very worst thing any movie ever can be, high or low budget. I do get what the other reviewer who suggests that it has a charm despite itself is getting at, it's on that level that I've enjoyed bad movie gems like Crazy Fat Ethel, Zombie 90, and the famous Troll 2, but this just doesn't have enough enjoyable elements to it for it to work on the enjoyably bad level, it's just mostly plain bad, you name it this film does it wrong, it's just lousy and so so cheap! It plays like Birdemic but with all the hilariousness and cheesy fun of it all sucked out. If there's one positive that you may take from watching this abomination, it's that by the end of it you'll feel like you could make a movie of your own if you wanted to! Bury this turkey deep and forget you ever saw it. x