House M.D. (TV Series)

Birthmarks (2008)

Robert Sean Leonard: Dr. James Wilson

Quotes 

• Dr. James Wilson : You know, you could just wait for the MRI to have your curiosity satisfied.

  Dr. Gregory House : What person who is nothing like me are you saying that to?

• [House uses nail clippers to remove part of his father's earlobe while feigning grief over the coffin] 

  Dr. James Wilson : [whispering]  Put it back.

  Dr. Gregory House : Well he's not going to miss it.

  Dr. James Wilson : I'm done enabling. You can't even let them put him in the ground without making it serve your agenda?

• Dr. Gregory House : He's here.

  Dr. James Wilson : Who's here? The one you're pretending is your father? Nice pick, he looks like Sean Connery. So back, when you were devising this fantasy, did you tell your father. "Dad, I refuse to recognize your existence because I have chosen James Bond as my dad."

  Dr. Gregory House : I used different words.

• Dr. James Wilson : That's how we met: I was in jail.

  Sheriff Costello : This guy was a total stranger to you and you bailed him out?

  Dr. Gregory House : It was a boring convention. I had to have somebody to drink with.

• Dr. James Wilson : [after House knocks Wilson's keys down a sewer]  Amber gave me that key chain.

  Dr. Gregory House : No, she didn't. Not unless your pet name for her was "Volvo."

• Dr. Gregory House : Come on, forget the keys. Call a locksmith. We'll go inside and play "guess that smell" with the truckers while we're waiting. Join me on the dark side.

  Dr. James Wilson : Dark side's done, House. I'm delivering you to your mother and that's it.

• Dr. James Wilson : I'm not gonna sit here wasting time just so you can avoid your father's funeral.

  Dr. Gregory House : He's my father. I have the right to avoid his funeral.

  Sheriff Costello : Not if your mother's alive you don't.

• Dr. James Wilson : Well, I hate to break it to you, Che, but simple delay won't work. Your mother will hold the funeral until we get there.

  Dr. Gregory House : Father was a punctual man. Beholden to time. Two minutes late for dinner, you didn't eat. My mother would never disrespect him by starting the funeral late.

  Dr. James Wilson : [sarcastically]  Yeah, yeah. You clearly have no issues to work through.

• Dr. James Wilson : [to the sherrif]  Sir? Not to hurry you, but we need to be at a funeral in...

  Sheriff Costello : Nobody is going anywhere or taking any phone calls till I hear back from Louisiana.

  Dr. James Wilson : It's a really old warrant. Isn't there a statute of limitations on this kind of thing?

  Dr. Gregory House : It's suspended when you flee the state.

  Dr. James Wilson : I didn't flee the state. I left the state because I don't live in the state. And the charges were just so minor...

  Sheriff Costello : Vandalism, destruction of property, assault.

  Dr. James Wilson : There is a simple explanation. There was a medical convention in New Orleans...

  Sheriff Costello : You don't need to explain to me.

  Dr. James Wilson : I was fresh out of med school. I didn't know anybody at the convention.

  Dr. Gregory House : You heard the man, Wilson. You don't have to explain.

  Dr. James Wilson : I am not gonna sit here wasting time just so you can avoid your father's funeral!

  Dr. Gregory House : He's my father. I have the right to avoid his funeral.

  Sheriff Costello : Not if your mother's alive, you don't.

  [to Wilson] 

  Sheriff Costello : Okay, explain.

• Dr. James Wilson : I was at the hotel bar trying to unwind, have a drink. There was this guy who kept playing Billy Joel's "Leave a Tender Moment Alone" on the jukebox.

  Sheriff Costello : Leave a Tender Moment is a good song.

  Dr. Gregory House : It's a great song. He was out of line.

  Sheriff Costello : Not as good as "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant" or...

  Dr. James Wilson : So I - I asked the man to stop, politely.

  Dr. Gregory House : Yeah, you yelled politely.

  Dr. James Wilson : I was polite the first couple of times, but courtesy made no impression on this ass, so I threw a bottle into the mirror which successfully conveyed my message.

  Dr. Gregory House : And smashed a 10-foot antique mirror. And set an example to two other patrons who threw shot glasses.

  Dr. James Wilson : I had nothing to do with that fight. The assault charge was totally bogus, and I paid for the mirror.

  Sheriff Costello : I think I have the picture. I assume you're the guy who was playing the song.

  Dr. Gregory House : No, I was the guy who bailed him out.

• Dr. Gregory House : Mom, how could you delay the funeral?

  Blythe House : Honey, your dad is dead. He's not going to care. Do you know what you're going to say?

  Dr. Gregory House : I don't know. Just let the minister or one of his buddies from the corps...

  Blythe House : You're talking. I don't care that you didn't like him. He was your father and he loved you. The war is over, Greg. Please do this for me.

  [to Wilson] 

  Blythe House : Stop looking so worried. I know he's gonna make me proud.

  Dr. James Wilson : I'm sure you know him better than I do.