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- Alec Hardison: [just lost Rock-Paper-Scissors to Eliot] How you do that?
- Eliot Spencer: You got a tell.
- Alec Hardison: I have a tell?
- Eliot Spencer: Yeah.
- Alec Hardison: In Rock-Paper-Scissors?
- Eliot Spencer: Yeah, go.
- Nathan Ford: We're going with a much bigger scam. One of the classics...
- Parker: The "London Spank"?
- Alec Hardison: The "Geneva Pasa-Doble"...
- Eliot Spencer: The "Apple Pie".
- [stares from the group]
- Eliot Spencer: It's like the "Cherry Pie", but with lifeguards.
- Sophie Devereaux: [savoring the thought] Whew...
- Nathan Ford: [announcing the official answer] "Glengarry Glen Death". It's like a mutual fund, but instead of stocks you invest in, in death.
- Sophie Devereaux: Are you drunk?
- Nathan Ford: Technically, no. I was drunk a couple of hours ago. Now, I'm just hung over.
- Parker: A man with one watch knows the time. A man with two is never sure.
- Sophie Devereaux: Wha?
- Parker: I had fortune cookies for breakfast.
- Alec Hardison: [just lost Rock-Paper-Scissors to Eliot] How you do that?
- Eliot Spencer: You got a tell.
- Alec Hardison: I have a tell?
- Eliot Spencer: Yeah.
- Alec Hardison: In Rock-Paper-Scissors?
- Eliot Spencer: Yeah, go.
- Nathan Ford: We're going with a much bigger scam. One of the classics.
- Parker: The London Spank?
- Alec Hardison: The Genevan Paso Doble?
- Eliot Spencer: The Apple Pie.
- [everyone stares]
- Eliot Spencer: It's like The Cherry Pie, but with lifeguards.
- Alec Hardison: So what, you had leftover Chinese for dinner?
- Parker: No, just the cookies.
- Alec Hardison: Do you put milk on the fortune cookies? 'Cause I don't...
- Parker: It's not cereal, it's a fortune cookie.
- Sophie Devereaux: Death scenes can be demanding. I remember this time I was playing Camille in Summerstock, and whew, I was drained after every performance.
- Parker: Don't I just make believe I'm dying?
- Sophie Devereaux: Okay, you need to own the space... and um, and access your sense memory. Here try this, can you think of a really sad thing that's happened in your life like, I don't know, like when your father died?
- Parker: [cracks-up]
- Sophie Devereaux: Yeah. This isn't going to be easy...
- Alec Hardison: [loses at Rock, Paper, Scissors] How'd you do that?
- Eliot Spencer: You've got a "tell".
- Alec Hardison: I have a "tell"...
- Eliot Spencer: Yeah.
- Alec Hardison: At Rock, Paper, Scissors...
- Eliot Spencer: Yeah.
- [last lines]
- Nathan Ford: Are you threatening to bail on me Sophie?
- Sophie Devereaux: Give me a reason to stay...
- Sophie Devereaux: So, uh, you can, uh, write that little check now, hey?
- Alec Hardison: [listening over coms] Hey, why can't they all be this easy?
- Randy Retzing: Of course not. We have to go to Miami. My dad's the one who has to write the check.
- Alec Hardison: Ah, hell, why they all gotta be this hard?