- Chloe: In my experience, when you're feeling low, there's only one thing that can cheer you up.
- Jas: Yeah, a good, hard shag. But I can't have that cuz my boyfriend's poking a bloater.
- Chloe: I was thinking more on the lines of Mr. Sock!
- Jas: I'm not shagging Mr. Sock. It's like Mika: he hasn't got a willy.
- Ollie: Tell Jasmine I'm not speaking to her.
- DK: Ollie says he's not speaking to you.
- Jas: Tell Ollie I'm not speaking to him.
- DK: Jas says she's not speaking to you.
- Ollie: Tell Jas I don't care.
- DK: Ollie says he doesn't care if you show me your tits.
- Jas: I am not showing you my tits.
- DK: Jas says she's going to show me her tits.
- DK: Yo Yo Ladies Mr K's in the house Biddy, Biddy, Biddy, Biddy, Bo! My name's DK, I'm on your bandwidth I'm excellent at making the sandwich My name's DK, I like to recycle And I'm adept at riding the bicycle So listen up baby It's time to take stock Coz DK's here The sharpest rapster on the block Cheer up honey Get your party frock on Coz DK's in town and he's got something you can suck on Balamory!
- DK: Boom Tap, Boom Tap! Boom Tap, Boom Tap! Hey babe, a bloater like you Must have knickers with room for two So ditch the cake and take the plunge And lick the cream off my love sponge You know you wanna take me You know I drive you crazy Take me, take me, take me, take me Take me, honey I'll give you money Balamory!
- Jas: Meet me in the swimming pool at 4 o'clock. To repay you for the A, I'm going to give you an E... rection, And make you E... jaculate, All over my f... tits.