Flight of the Conchords (TV Series)

The Tough Brets (2009)

Bret McKenzie: Bret

Quotes 

• Officer West : Sir, we've got a report of a kid being kicked on the street by a group of adults.

  Bret : Yes, that was me.

  Officer West : They said it was a group of adults.

  Bret : Umm... that was my gang.

  Officer West : OK, so why'd you kick the boy?

  Bret : Umm... well, I guess that was gang related.

  Officer West : Well, in the future I suggest that you don't kick children. We'll let this go because we don't like that particular kid, but we've got our eyes on you.

• [from a deleted scene; Bret and Jemaine are lying in their beds. Bret is asleep, but Jemaine is awake and lost in thought. He turns to Bret] 

  Jemaine : Bret?... Bret?... Bret?...

  [Bret doesn't wake up] 

  Jemaine : Bret!

  [Bret sits bolt upright in bed, hands in a karate chopping position] 

  Bret : Please don't chop off my penis!