The Mighty B! (TV Series)

Something's Wrong with This Taffy/Name Shame (2008)

Amy Poehler: Bessie Higgenbottom

Quotes 

• Bessie Higgenbottom : [opening mail]  Okay let's see here. The Foundation to cure general rudeness received my donation.

  [sees address labels with her middle initial and freaks out] 

• Porita Gibbons : [reading a shred of paper]  Bessie K. Higgenbottom. What's the 'K' stand for? Ka-ka?

  [laughs maniacally] 

  Bessie Higgenbottom : [slightly nervous]  That's- That's a good one, Portia. Really good roll in the road. Yep, that 'K' is just a typo. It's a printing error. Quality type setting isn't what it used to be. That's a nice dress you're wearing.

  Porita Gibbons : Yeah, I know that. What I don't know is why you won't tell me your middle name.

  Bessie Higgenbottom : [really nervous]  My middle name, um it's ka-... Why won't I tell you it? Uh 'cause I don't have one?

  Porita Gibbons : [skeptical]  Oh really? What if you're a big ole liar?

  Bessie Higgenbottom : Okay, okay! I do have one, I do have one! But trust me it's for the best that no one ever find out what it is.

• Porita Gibbons : [after repeatedly saying Kajolica, her hair falls out]  My hair! Some of these aren't even extensions. What is going on?

  Gwen : [laughing]  Can't stop saying it. Kajolica. Ha ha, ha ha.

  [wallpaper peels and grabs her] 

  Bessie Higgenbottom : Gwen, no. Everyone, it's time your heard the truth. Some years ago, Ben and I discovered that my middle name is not only 'very' embarrassing, it is cursed. You heard me, cursed! When ever somebody says it out loud something bad happens, usually immediately like just now.

  Benjamin Higgenbottom : See, told ya it would be worse if I told ya!

  Porita Gibbons : Um, I like sent it to everyone in my bee-berry. Is that bad?

  [bee-berry explodes] 

• Bessie Higgenbottom : [after gagging him]  Sorry, Mr. Woo. Hey that masking tape will come off easier if you stick your head in the freezer first.

• Bessie Higgenbottom : [entering The Hive, exhausted]  Whew! Ben, shut the window. I can't listen to that song anymore.

  Benjamin Higgenbottom : [while singing outside as he closes the window]  Well it's better than everyone saying Kajolica.

  [the Hive explodes]