- Roz: Martin's mother made a joke about Mindy's weight.
- Sandy Kominsky: What kind of joke?
- Roz: Is there a good kind?
- Sandy Kominsky: [Sandy tucks Roz into bed] You all comfy?
- Roz: Yes.
- Sandy Kominsky: Hmm. Want another blanket?
- Roz: No. I'm fine.
- Sandy Kominsky: Okay. You got water, meds, book, phone. Anything else that you need?
- Roz: No. That's it.
- Sandy Kominsky: Okay. I'm off.
- Roz: [Sandy gives Roz a kiss on the forehead] What, no tongue?
- Sandy Kominsky: Ooh, you want tongue. I'll give you tongue.
- Roz: Oh, shit, no. I was just bluffing
- Roz: Martin should have said something, but that doesn't mean he's not a good guy.
- Sandy Kominsky: He's just trying to be respectful of his mom.
- Mindy Kominsky: Fuck him! The whole time she was picking me apart, he was looking down at his shoes. Stupid, ugly homemade shoes.
- Mindy Kominsky: [Referring to the cup of tea in front of her] You got anything stronger?
- Sandy Kominsky: Uh, bourbon?
- Mindy Kominsky: Bring it!
- Mindy Kominsky: I don't care how old she is. I don't take that shit from anybody.
- Roz: Nor should you.
- Mindy Kominsky: The last person who talked to me like that is still looking for his left nut.
- Estelle: [to Sandy] My Martin has done very well for himself, despite the fact that he's had to overcome many handicaps.
- Martin: Wait a minute. What handicaps?
- Estelle: And if, at this point in his life, he has chosen your daughter to settle down with...
- Sandy Kominsky: Settle down? He's an old man with a shitty ticker! He's down, lady, okay? He's down.