- Oscar Leroy: [Oscar and Emma in their new hot tub] They weren't kidding when they said it was hot!
- Emma Leroy: Tub-like, too.
- Brent Leroy: [Brent arrives] Oh, there you are.
- Oscar Leroy: Yeah - what do you think?
- Brent Leroy: About what? Did you get a haircut?
- Oscar Leroy: No, look!
- Brent Leroy: New glasses?
- Oscar Leroy: We bought a hot tub, jackass!
- Emma Leroy: Hop in, it's great!
- Brent Leroy: No, I'm more of a shower guy. Shower alone type of guy. More of a not bathe with my parents type of guy.
- Emma Leroy: You used to bathe with us when you were a kid - well, you kept crawling out of the tub.
- Brent Leroy: Can't imagine why. Anyway, I don't have a swimsuit.
- Oscar Leroy: I don't have one either!
- Brent Leroy: Another excellent reason to pass.
- Emma Leroy: He's wearing shorts! Well - underwear, really.
- Oscar Leroy: Saves on laundry!
- Brent Leroy: Okay...
- [walks off]
- [on Safety Pete, the police department's new mascot to teach kids about safety]
- Davis Quinton: I think he should have more depth, a back story. Maybe he was a cop and was unsafe and something bad happened and turned him into a safety vigilante. And now he spends his time hunting the man who killed his parents... unsafely.
- Brent Leroy: I'm just gonna be out in front of your house sitting in my car drinking coffee. Is that cool?
- Wanda Dollard: It's very cool. It's the coolest thing I've ever heard.
- Lacey Burrows: Karen left all on her own after I pretended to have diarrhea! That is not weird!
- Emma Leroy: Now you're acting out. That's understandable, you're hurt.
- Lacey Burrows: Who's hurt? You think I'm weird, I think you're creepy! It's all great!