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Plant Samurai Versus Schoolgirls with Chainsaws and Herbicide Nail Guns: The Movie
lewiskendell11 September 2011
A group of bored Japanese teenage girls go to visit Survival Land, a soon to be opened theme park owned by one of their uncles. It's supposed to be a harmless family fun attraction where people can pretend to battle historical warriors like ninjas and samurai. But when one of the fake samurai is infected by some kind of genetically engineered hybrid plant, he begins infecting others. The girls soon realize they're trapped in a place where survival has become much more than just a game. 

I'll admit that I'm a fan of stuff like this. Even a modest attempt like Seifuku Survivor Girl  is bound to entertain me. A bunch of cute Japanese chicks running around for their lives (one in a geisha costume, one dressed as a kunoichi, and the rest in the seifukus of the title), and I'm set. But don't get me wrong, this is by no means a great movie, either. It's not scary at all (unless slowly walking men in ninja Halloween costumes with vines wrapped around them is a phobia of yours), nor is it as absolutely insane and gory as some of the gonzo Japanese films that have become popular imports lately. If you're expecting a Machine Girl/Tokyo Gore Police type of bizarre assault on the senses, you might be a bit disappointed. With that said, things do get a little crazy towards the end, and the premise itself is innately ridiculous. 

Taken for what it is, though, SSG is worth watching. It was clearly made with a very low budget, but that wasn't really a problem. A movie like this doesn't really demand high production values. I dug the low-rent, The Thing-style paranoia when the girls began to question who among them might be infected and turn against each other. And the movie speeds along at well under an hour and a half total, so it's over long before the amusement of seeing a teenage girl desperately search for an outlet to plug in her nail gun (for the second time) so she can shoot a zombie with a gun in the face, wears off. 

Some of the soundtrack is pretty cool, too, which is another plus. 

So yeah, pretty cool movie if you're the right audience for it. Be warned if "cliffhanger" style endings annoy you, though. The end of Seifuku Survivor Girl 1 is basically just the setup for Seifuku Survivor 2, with no real resolution. If you plan on watching this one, you might as well have the second ready to go when it's over.
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