- Cody Martin: [reading out Debby's dating questionnaire answers] Now, let's see. Favourite flower, iris. Favourite tree, pine. And ooh, that's interesting. She likes corncob art. Folky.
- Zack Martin: Stupidy.
- London Tipton: I just wanna show you this compatibility questionaire.
- Emma Tutweiller: From the singles' cruise? Thank you, but I am not looking for anyone right now.
- London Tipton: It's Friday night and you're standing in a classroom drawing squiggly lines on the blackboard.
- Emma Tutweiller: Good point. What's the first question?
- London Tipton: Goody.
- [sits down]
- London Tipton: Do you care if a man has money?
- [types in answer]
- London Tipton: Must be rich. Do you like the outdoorsy type?
- [types in answer]
- London Tipton: If he's outside a jewelry store.
- Emma Tutweiller: Excuse me, these are supposed to be my answers and I am not that shallow.
- London Tipton: You want me to change it to 'wants poor guy who lives outside jewelry store'?
- Emma Tutweiller: Let's go with rich. You already typed it in.
- Zack Martin: Hey Marion. Speaking of Marion, don't you ever want to get married and have kids?
- Mr. Moseby: Agh. Why on earth would I want to do that? Besides, I'm married to the ship.
- Zack Martin: Lemme guess. She was a cute little sailboat when you met. But as soon as you got married, she blew up big.
- [makes ship sounds]
- Zack Martin: I'm sure you two will be very happy together.
- Mr. Moseby: Are you naturally annoying or do you have to work at it?
- Zack Martin: Hey, why don't you fill out this singles' cruise questionairre?
- Mr. Moseby: Hey, why don't I not?
- Zack Martin: I'm just trying to help you find a little happiness.
- Mr. Moseby: Then leave.
- Zack Martin: Here's an easy question. What's your favourite food?
- Mr. Moseby: Oo in the summer it's a lovely fruit salad with a delicate pomegranate dressing. However in the winter I prefer something hot do you know, like a steaming casserole.
- Zack Martin: A-actually, that doesn't fit in the box. And frankly, I just can't spell it.
- [first lines]
- London Tipton: Yay! Race driver me! I win! I win! And more importantly, you lose! You lose!