Quotes
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Effy Stonem : Pandora, why are we friends? Do you ever wonder?
Pandora : Well, that's super easy. You're my pal because you're the coolest ever and I'm yours because I'll totally do anything you say and none of your boyfriends ever want to surf me cause I'm useless.
Effy Stonem : That's it?
Pandora : Yeah.
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Pandora : [phone rings] Morning, Mum. Yeah, thanks. Super-duper great night at the youth centre. I made soup, we prayed and recycled socks. Soup for the homeless. They love soup. Um, cream of mushroom. Okey-dokey. Effy says howdy doody. See you later, alligator.
Jim Stonem : Did you just...? That was a pack of lies.
Pandora : Oh, you can't tell my mum the truth. She'd only do agony flip and go ra-ra.
Jim Stonem : Is she speaking English?
Effy Stonem : She means the truth hurts, Dad. It's for her own good.
Jim Stonem : Oh...
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Angela : Effy! We meet at last.
Effy Stonem : Yes.
Angela : Pandora has told me so much about you.
Pandora : Yeah, you know, Eff. Your missionary work.
Effy Stonem : Yes, I try and do as much of that as I can.
Angela : That's good. There's so many bad things in the world. Boys and drugs, guns, alcohol. Boys. Evil things. I'm glad Pandora's found a channel she can pour her energy into.
Effy Stonem : Well, yes, all the seamen like her.
Angela : Seamen?
Effy Stonem : Oh, yes. Loads of seamen. Some of them are homeless as well. We'd all love to see Pandora get her own missionary position.
Angela : Right...
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Pandora Moon : Come on! We can do brownies and then lick our bowls out.
Katie Fitch : [to Effy] Do you think she knows she sounds filthy half the time?
Effy Stonem : Sometimes I wonder.
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Pandora Moon : [to Effy, crying] You always bog everything up. It's always you. You do everything you like just cause you're depressed cause your mum's getting whacked up the pants. Well, bogging bog off! This is my party and I'm upset because my boyfriend got deported. And you're supposed to be playing and eating jelly, and playing Twister at my party. And telling me how to pop my cherry with my boyfriend.
Effy Stonem : For Christ's sake, I'll show you how to do a blowjob.
Pandora Moon : [as she slams the door in Effy's face] I don't want a blowjob! I want my boyfriend back.
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Pandora Moon : There's a whammer lotta things you don't know about me, Eff. Just cause I'm useless don't mean I'm nothing.
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Effy Stonem : [after Pandora loses her virginity to Cook] We're friends because you don't surf and turf my men. You said that!
Pandora Moon : He's not yours, Eff! He'll never belong to anyone.
Effy Stonem : Shut up!
Pandora Moon : That's why you don't really want him.
Effy Stonem : Shut up!
Pandora Moon : He's not the one you want, Eff!
Effy Stonem : Shut up!
Pandora Moon : You see, I know that because I'm your friend, but you don't make enough effort, Eff. I'm just there to laugh at. You don't know me. My life, my family, my mum. Why don't you know anything about my mum? I know everything about yours.
Effy Stonem : You're right. I don't know anything about your mum.
Pandora Moon : I'm sorry, okay?
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Effy Stonem : [after her father leaves her mother] They fuck you up.
Pandora : They don't mean to, Eff.
Effy Stonem : But they do.
