Being Human (TV Series)
Flotsam and Jetsam (2009)
Aidan Turner: Mitchell
Quotes
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Mitchell : You see, I can actually TALK to women without weeping or setting fire to myself.
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Annie : [Opens front door] Hello!
Pizza Delivery Boy : 12 inch Mess of Meats.
Annie : Oh, thank you.
Mitchell : Great. Keep the change.
[Takes pizza]
Annie : So, um, how long have you been delivering pizzas?
Pizza Delivery Boy : Couple of months?
Annie : And could you ride a moped before or did they teach you?
Pizza Delivery Boy : They taught us. We had to drive round and round the car park.
Annie : I bet you hate pizza. I mean, you get home and your girlfriend's like, "What do you want for tea?" and I bet you're like, "Not pizza!"
Pizza Delivery Boy : I live with my dad.
Annie : Madness. See ya!
[Shuts front door]
Annie : He could see me.
Mitchell : He could SO see you.
Annie : Ahh, it's happening all the time now, and not just with people like you, but with normal people. I was outside putting out the recycling and a van drove past and the guy shouted "Slag!"
[giggles]
Annie : So who wants tea?
George : Ugh.
Annie : What?
George : You keep making tea! Every surface is covered with mugs of tea and coffee. I go to make myself some tea and I can't! There's no mugs, there's no tea, it's all been made! And you can't even drink it! Y-y-you can't drink it; you keep making it! Oh, oh, oh my god, it's driving me INSANE!
Annie : Oh, well, I like my routine. It makes me feel normal.
George : But-but-but you're a ghost!
Annie : Yeah. OK.
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Annie : Oh, you both off then?
Mitchell : Yeah, we've got work, and then it's his time of the month.
Annie : Oh. Right. Well. Tell you what, I won't miss that. Used to have to curl up on the sofa, hot water bottle, Pride and Prejudice. Anyone says anything to me I'd bite their head off. Gosh, I suppose in your case that, that is actually quite a possibility, isn't it? You know, biting?
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Annie : All right, George? What's happening? I thought it was your time of the month.
Mitchell : It is. He's doing it here.
Annie : Ugh! I just Hoovered!
Mitchell : George, what do you need?
George : Uh, close the curtains, so it can't see the windows. And, uh, put some music on, loud.
Mitchell : Good idea. We'll say there's a party going on. Annie. Anything you don't want broken, put it in your room.
Annie : Uh, and what are we supposed to while he's doing his thing?
Mitchell : Get the hell out.
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[George has learned that Mitchell is the one who turned Lauren into a vampire]
George : I manage my condition. I hide in a shitty, bloody cellar or the middle of a forest. But you? You buy a bottle of wine and a packet of condoms! What is the point of us trying to build some kind of normality when you are attacking our friends and turning them into monsters? For Christ's sake! We knew her. You let me go to her bloody memorial!
Mitchell : How the hell do you think I've survived for the last hundred years? There's no escape from it. I'm not like you, I don't get days off. This is what I am.
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Mitchell : [Owen leaves after an awkward first meeting with George and Mitchell, in which George said he'd killed a pigeon with a shoe] How did you do that, stay so calm?
George : Okay, shut up.
Mitchell : You're a spy, aren't ya? I mean you've clearly had training, because the way you held it together there, it was chilling.
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George Sands : Other people move in somewhere, they get damp. No. They get woodlice. Why do we get Casper the Friendly Ghost?
Mitchell : We've been over this. There must be something unresolved about her death. That's what's keeping her here.
George Sands : It's not fair.
Mitchell : Exactly. Whatever happened to her wasn't fair.
George Sands : No. I mean it's unfair her being here. The amount of washing up she generates.
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Annie : Okay, I've written a list of questions for you to ask him.
Mitchell : [Reading] "Are you screwing Janey Harris?"
Annie : She always fancied Owen. Trust me, if she had known when I died she'd have been here before the ambulance crew.
Mitchell : [Still reading] Aw. "Has my sister had a baby?".
Annie : Yeah, 'cause they've been trying for ages. I blame her husband. His name's Robin, he works in the post office.
George : Oh my god, has everybody taken stupid pills? This is Annie's ex. Annie's ex who buried her.
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Owen : [George returns downstairs after talking to Annie] What was it?
George : What? Oh, um, it was, it was a pigeon.
Owen : A pigeon?
George : Must have left a window open.
Owen : Well have you got rid of it?
George : I killed it.
Mitchell : [Mitchell almost spits out his drink, and gives George a horrified look] You... you killed it?
George : [Nervously] With a shoe.
