- Sheldon Cooper: My ultimate goal is to one day devise the grand unified field theory.
- Gary O'Brien: Oh, you're one of those are ya?
- Sheldon Cooper: Excuse me?
- Gary O'Brien: Well, Kurt Godel's incompleteness theorem eliminates the possibility of a unified theory.
- Sheldon Cooper: You want us to believe that?
- George Cooper Sr.: Sheldon?
- Sheldon Cooper: That's interesting. Tell me more about how Einstein's life goal was nothing but folly.
- Missy Cooper: What if I promise not to dance?
- Mary Cooper: So you expect me to believe that you are going to go to a dance with your friends, they'll all be dancing while you just stand there?
- Missy Cooper: I go to church and don't pray; how is this any different?
- Georgie Cooper: Come on - I went to school dances, and I turned out fine.
- Mary Cooper: I didn't let you go to any dances.
- Georgie Cooper: I did all kinds of stuff behind your back.
- Mary Cooper: Like what?
- Georgie Cooper: I'm dumb, but I'm not that dumb.
- Mary Cooper: So I'm supposed to just let her do whatever she wants? Yeah, I don't think so.
- Georgie Cooper: I'm just saying she's a good kid. Be glad she's still asking.
- Meemaw: Where are we eating tonight?
- Coach Dale Ballard: Well, that depends. Why don't you look in the glove box and check on the Tums situation.
- Meemaw: There's five.
- Coach Dale Ballard: Oh, my, this is tricky. Well, Mexican's at least three apiece.
- Meemaw: We might get by with two each if it's Italian.
- Coach Dale Ballard: You get red wine and then tomato sauce; if they put lemon in the water, we're dead.
- Meemaw: Hmm. That leaves barbecue.
- Coach Dale Ballard: Sold!
- Meemaw: Who gets Tum number 3?
- Coach Dale Ballard: Me. They're my Tums.
- [pause]
- Coach Dale Ballard: What do you think young people talk about on their dates?