- Barry: I want to talk to you about what I witnessed this morning. About the situation you got yourself into with those two ladies and all the drama it created.
- Jack: I know.
- Barry: We had a smackdown right in the middle of the living room.
- Jack: Just happened.
- Barry: Son, you don't have to make excuses. It was... Well, hell, it was beautiful, and I've never been so damn proud of you. I mean, you've got two smart, very attractive women fighting over you. And I don't know what line you're feeding them, but keep it up.
- Sally: Have you two talked about kids?
- Jack: Mom, we're just dating.
- Samantha: It's OK, sweetie. We want at least two, but four would be great. The way this guy likes to go at it, we'll end up with ten.
- Sally: Oh, he's always been like that. From the time he was 13, his bedroom looked like a used tissue factory. Not even socks were safe. After he went to school, I'd go in with my little sperm tongs and clean them all up.
- Jack: Mom, stop.
- Sally: I'm surprised you haven't run out by now.