- Kristine Kochanski: Where are you going?
- Dave Lister: I have to leave, and get you back.
- Kristine Kochanski: The real me? You'll never get me, I'm way out of your league.
- Dave Lister: I thought that too but, I was wrong.
- Kristine Kochanski: You were right.
- Dave Lister: No. I'm pretty cool, I don't take any smeg, and even though I'm disgusting, sometimes I can be quite brave.
- Kristine Kochanski: You'll never get me.
- Dave Lister: Yeah, I will.
- [the gang climb out out Carbug and look around]
- Rimmer: What sort of godforseken place it this?
- Cat: This is worse than Rimmerworld!
- Dave Lister: Get out of town - this is brilliant! It's just like where I grew up, except there's less burning cars!
- Kryten: [Examining the 'Information Droid'] Perhaps it's overheated. Are you usually that red? I'm going to place this instrument into your voice unit, and I want you to say 'Ahh'.
- [Simon spots the Red Dwarf gang by the post box, and dials a number on his mobile]
- Simon Gregson: Hi, it's me - where are you?
- Craig Charles: [Muffled] In the Rovers, kid. Why?
- Simon Gregson: I'll see you in a minute.
- [Walks towards the Rovers]
- Simon Gregson: [Entering the Rovers and spotting Craig sitting at a table] Oi! You'll never guess who I've just seen! All your mates from Red Dwarf! They'e outside
- Craig Charles: Serious?
- Simon Gregson: Yeah! They've just landed in a little spaceship! it's green, um
- [Clicks his fingers while trying to remember the name]
- Simon Gregson: What's it called?
- Craig Charles: Listen, mate, don't mess about! I've got loads of lines to learn! I've got a massive scene this afternoon!
- Simon Gregson: I'm serious, and I know what I saw!
- [pause]
- Simon Gregson: Even you were there!
- Craig Charles: I was there? How many have you had?
- Simon Gregson: [pause] Well, I've had a couple, but listen, I've just seen you!
- [Holds out hand just above the top of the table]
- Simon Gregson: So high, ugly, definitely you
- Craig Charles: [Kryten, Cat and Rimmer walk in] Hi guys! What are you doing here?
- Kryten: Ah, Mr Charles, sir! My name is Kryten. I'm a fictitious character from the television series Red Dwarf, and we really need your help.
- Simon Gregson: Told ya!
- Dave Lister: [Lister walks in] You're the only one who can help us, man!
- Craig Charles: [Stands up and moves away] I've heard about these! They're called flashbacks! I know you don't exist!
- Cat: Okay, no need to rub it in!
- Rimmer: Just give us the address of whoever created us, and we'll jump into Starbug and be out of here!
- Craig Charles: Starbug?
- Simon Gregson: Yeah, I just told ya, they landed outside the Kabin!
- Rimmer: [Turning to Simon] That is okay, isn't it? We're not going to get a ticket, are we?
- Craig Charles: You're not all here! I know you're not all here!
- Rimmer: [Pointing to Kryten] Eh, He's not all here, but the rest of us are!
- Cat: Yeah!
- Cat: [Craig reveals the last script is due in a couple of days] All we need from you is an address, bud!
- [Lister leads the others out of the Rovers]
- Dave Lister: I'm so glad I'm not him! The guy's a wreck! And pretending to be someone else all day - that's no way to make a living! Smeghead!