- [last lines of the episode - and the series]
- Last Scene Guy: Hey, I saw you at the Chuckle Barn the other night. You were really funny.
- Brent LeRoy: Oh, thanks.
- Last Scene Guy: You doing any other cities?
- Brent LeRoy: No, I'm just sticking around here.
- Last Scene Guy: Oh, good one. Always on, eh?
- Brent LeRoy: Yeah. Never a dull moment.
- Emma Leroy: My cousin played accordion with an all girls polka band and now she lives for the bottle.
- Oscar Leroy: She was a drunk before that. Sober people don't join polka bands.
- [watching Brent perform at the comedy club]
- Wanda Dollard: This is weird. Nobody's ignoring him! They're all listening to him or something! Maybe I should have paid more attention to Brett...
- Lacey Burrows: It's Brent.
- Wanda Dollard: You sure?
- [Wanda and Hank think about how Brent's possible new career could affect them, Wanda makes plans for Corner Gas while Hank sees himself as part of Brent's entourage when he is famous]
- Wanda Dollard: [to Lacey] A couple of changes I plan to make to this place when he leaves for a career in show biz...
- Lacey Burrows: [reading] You're gonna call it Wandaland?
- Wanda Dollard: Well, this one... Wandaworld's in Florida.
- Hank Yarbo: [reading an old newspaper] Aw, man. Hollywood mansions are expensive. Over $200,000 if you want one with a guest house.
- Lacey Burrows: Yeah, if you don't mind travelling back in time to 1968.
- Hank Yarbo: ...It was the only L.A. paper the library had.
- [after Brent turns down the offer for a national comedy tour]
- Brent LeRoy: Sorry to disappoint everybody...
- [Emma kisses him on the cheek]
- Brent LeRoy: ...except Mom. I was never planning on doing the tour. I mean, I was flattered and everything but why would I go anywhere when everything I like is right here? And that includes all you guys. Except you, I don't recognize you.
- Guy: Fair enough.
- [first lines]
- Brent LeRoy: Hey, did you guys see the Howler? It says Fast Exit's doing a reunion tour.
- Hank Yarbo: No way, really?
- Lacey Burrows: Who's Fast Exit?
- Brent LeRoy: Who's Fast Exit? Only the most awesome rock band in the history of the universe!
- Hank Yarbo: [reading the paper] Yeah, and they're doing a doing a tour of hockey and curling rinks across Western Canada.
- Brent LeRoy: Well, much of Western Canada.
- Hank Yarbo: Oh, but the only show they're doing around here is in Wullerton.
- [Hank and Brent spit on the ground]
- Brent LeRoy: Forget that then. Bunch of has-beens.
- Lacey Burrows: [gesturing to the woman at the counter] Thanks a lot you guys, this is the health inspector!
- Lacey Burrows: [to the health inspector] Their little display isn't gonna hurt my rating, is it?
- Health Inspector: Are you kidding? Wullerton sucks.
- [spits]