- Jillian Harris - The Bachelorette: It's called a cocktail party for a reason. What I did see in him is that Ed is the happiest, funniest drunk that I've ever met in my life and, honestly, it made me laugh.
- Chris Harrison - Host: [regarding the colorful group of guys seated before him] It's like a buffet for a host. Where do I start?
- Mark Huebner: Jake, no one in America thinks some one is a black sheep if they're an airline pilot and the rest of their family is doctors... uh A. Uh... B: next time some one tells you to untuck in your shirt during a rose ceremony, don't make 'em take two hours for them to convince you. So untuck your shirt and then C: go watch a rated R movie and come on to the same level as the rest of us. 'Cause you're just, like, way too perfect for everybody.
- Jake Pavelka: OK. Let me... let me just put that... put that to bed. Sasha f*** you. How "perfect" is that?
- [audience cheers]
- Sasha: [to audience] Hey! That's the first f*** he said in, like, the last year I think.
- Chris Harrison - Host: I can honestly say that's the first f*** on any reunion show in eight years. So...