- Michael Scott: Daddy's here, and Daddy is going to take care of you.
- Oscar Martinez: Please don't refer to yourself as our daddy.
- Michael Scott: I am your big daddy, and I am going to kiss the boo-boo.
- [as Phyllis is lying on the floor from her back]
- Dwight Schrute: Hey, hey, hey, hey. I got your text. Who's Phillip?
- Michael Scott: No, no, no.
- Dwight Schrute: [to Phyllis] Who tipped you over? Was it Phillip?
- Jim Halpert: There are other reasons to go to Ohio.
- Pam Beesly: [interrupting] We're getting married today.
- Jim Halpert: [laughs] So it turns out it's the closest place to get a marriage license without a three-day waiting period.
- Pam Beesly: Tell them how it happened.
- Jim Halpert: Okay, so we're going through all the wedding plans and, boy, it is complicated.
- Pam Beesly: And very expensive.
- Jim Halpert: Very expensive. 'Cause you say you want a small wedding and that's great, but then you have to...
- Pam Beesly: You can't leave anyone out.
- Jim Halpert: No one.
- Pam Beesly: Okay, just get to the good part.
- Jim Halpert: Right, so, this morning, we are having breakfast together and I just looked up from my cereal and I said, "You know what I want to do today? I want to marry you."
- Pam Beesly: I had just woken up. I didn't look cute. That's how I know he meant it.
- Michael Scott: Now I know what the founders of Phillip Morris felt like. You just want to give people a smooth, fun way to relax, and suddenly, you're just some terrible monster.
- Michael Scott: Hey, you want some espresso?
- Erin Hannon: Yeah.
- Michael Scott: You gotta keep yourself dehydrated.
- Michael Scott: When I was in charge, this place was like Dave & Buster's, people just hanging out, having fun, eating apps. I don't know, it's like Dave died or something.