Californication (TV Series)

Wish You Were Here (2009)

Jason Beghe: Richard Bates

Quotes 

• Richard Bates : [Walks up to the doorway to the dining room stark naked]  Who wants to see me tuck and do the pee-pee-dance?

  Hank Moody : [raises hand]  Come on, I can't be the only one?... Where are the girls?

  Richard Bates : And then... Just like that

  [snaps fingers] 

  Richard Bates : he unveiled his beautiful man-pussy. His glorious mangina.

  [sings] 

  Richard Bates : Mmh Mmh-Meet my peach baby, Blow on my dice! I wanna swing that swing, don't you treat me nice.

  Dean Stacy Koons : Richard let me...

  Dean Stacy Koons : [Keeps on singing]  I'm wild for you.

  Dean Stacy Koons : Let me call you a cab.

  Richard Bates : [Still singing]  Sweet Baby I'm a child for you.

  Dean Stacy Koons : Lets get you clothes.

  Felicia Koons : You know what, why don't stay in the guest room?

  Richard Bates : Stacy? Have you ever spent time with an eleven year old boy and wanted more from him than he was willing to give? Have you ever breathed in the scent of a woman's sweaty unwashed sex? And just

  [sniffs the air] 

  Richard Bates : Mhh and wanted to bottle and sell at market. You ever been so drunk on cock? You Howled at the moon and begged for a few inches more.

  Hank Moody : Ladies? Dean Koons?

  Richard Bates : All these question and more will be answered... in my new novel. First! I wanna go for a swim! Urgh!

  [Runs through the dining room and jumps out the window] 

  Richard Bates : Wooh!

  Hank Moody : Love that guy. Big fan.