- [Fester has created a superhero comic book]
- Wednesday Addams: Festerman?
- Uncle Fester: The Protector of the macabre!
- Morticia Addams: Oh, I'm afraid I've lost my touch for the horrible. Everything I create looks so plain, so... nice.
- Festerman: It's Underman! Heh! He was my trusted ally and the best squaredancing dancer partner a guy could ask for.
- Underman: [chuckles wickedly] Yes, but all that changed when you dropped that anvil on my head.
- Festerman: It was just Fester-Anvil, he was having trouble flying at the time...
- Underman: A likely story.
- Gomez Addams: Son, losing can be painful sometimes. And, if you've got to lose, let's hope it is painful!
- Morticia Addams: Oh, Gomez...
- Uncle Fester: Here, here!
- Gomez Addams: I throw myself upon the mercy of your immensely kissable arm!
- [starts kissing the object of his affection]
- Morticia Addams: Better luck next year, dear.
- Gomez Addams: I hope not!
- Gomez Addams: Son, I don't believe how low you stooped to beat your sister.
- Morticia Addams: We're both so proud of you.