- Mercedes Jones: I thought you and Puck were dating?
- Santana Lopez: Sex is not dating.
- Brittany: Yeah, if it was, Santana and I would be dating.
- Kurt Hummel: I say we lock Rachel up till after sectionals. I volunteer my basement.
- Mercedes Jones: We can't. We need her to sing.
- Kurt Hummel: Damn her talent.
- Principal Figgins: Sue, the directors both from the Jane Adams Academy and Haverbrook School for the Deaf have informed me you gave them the New Directions set list.
- Sue Sylvester: You have no proof.
- Principal Figgins: The set lists were on Cheerios letterhead.
- Sue Sylvester: I didn't do it.
- Principal Figgins: They say "From the Desk of Sue Sylvester'.
- Sue Sylvester: Circumstantial evidence.
- Principal Figgins: They're written in your handwriting.
- Sue Sylvester: Forgeries.
- Principal Figgins: Sue, there is an orgy of evidence stacked against you!
- Santana Lopez: Look, we may still be Cheerios, but neither of us ever gave Sue the set list.
- Brittany: Well... I did. But I didn't know what she was gonna do with it.
- Santana Lopez: Okay, look... believe what you want, but no one's forcing me to be here. And if you tell anyone this, I'll deny it - but I like being in Glee Club. It's the best part of my day, okay? I wasn't gonna go and mess it up.
- Rachel Berry: I believe you.
- Emma Pillsbury: We've got a problem. They're doing all of our numbers. The kids are completely freaking out. Artie keeps ramming himself into the wall and I think Jacob Ben Israel just wet himself.
- Will Schuester: Where's Ken?
- Emma Pillsbury: Um, home, I'd imagine, probably trying to regain some of the pride that I stole from him. He dumped me.
- Will Schuester: What?
- Emma Pillsbury: He said moving the wedding for sectionals was the last straw.
- Will Schuester: But I thought he understood that... that you were doing this for the kids.
- Emma Pillsbury: He understood that... I wasn't doing it for the kids. I was doing it for you.
- Will Schuester: Emma... I'm so sorry.
- Emma Pillsbury: No. Gosh, no, it's not your fault. I... I really messed up. He was absolutely right. I was settling for him. Really, one blink from you, Will, and I would have been out the door.
- Quinn Fabray: I guess we have our ballad. And we can close with "Somebody to Love". It's a real crowd-pleaser.
- Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: Yeah, that and a can of soup will guarantee us third place. We still need another song we can all sing together.
- Finn Hudson: [entering] I have one. I found the sheet music online. I used the Cheerios' copier to make copies, then I trashed the thing. Mike, Matt, Brittany, Santana, you're our best dancers. Figure something out and we'll all follow your lead.
- Mike Chang: It's gonna be choppy.
- Finn Hudson: Good. We're best when we're loose. Look, all we have going for us is that we believe in ourselves and what we're singing about. If we can show the judges that... we might have a shot at this thing.
- Finn Hudson: You heard anything?
- Will Schuester: Yeah. It's pretty bad. I can't be there.
- Finn Hudson: And I can? I mean, I can't even be in the same room as her without crying like a girl. I can't look at him without wanting to punch his face off.
- Will Schuester: Look, I don't have any more pep talks, Finn. You know I know how you feel. But all I know is that... between you and me, I don't think that they can win without you.
- Finn Hudson: But that's not fair. Why does it always have to come down to me? Why do I always have to be the bigger man?
- Will Schuester: Because sometimes being special... sucks.
- Finn Hudson: I just want everything to be like it... like it never happened, you know?
- Will Schuester: Well, Finn... you can't always get what you want. Listen, I'll be in the choir room.
- Finn Hudson: [Schue stands to leave] Oh, Mr. Schue, you forgot your keys.
- Will Schuester: No, I didn't.
- Will Schuester: I don't know what the future holds for me, and for us, but I know, Saturday, you're going to make me proud. You guys are going to be great. So... goodbye for now.
- Mercedes Jones: Wait. What about our set list?
- Will Schuester: I... I can't help you with that. You've got to figure that out for yourselves.
- Rachel Berry: Hey, guys. Did any of you think it was weird the way that Puck rushed to Quinn's aid during rehearsals yesterday?
- [flashback; in the choir room, Quinn falls to the floor, and both Finn and Puck kneel down beside her]
- Finn Hudson: Is it the baby? Is it coming?
- Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: Think we're supposed to get hot towels.
- Quinn Fabray: Would you both just shut up? There's, like, sweat on the floor. I slipped, okay? I'm fine.
- [return to real time]
- Mercedes Jones: [sharing an awkward look with the others] No...
- Artie Abrams: I mean, he likes her. I mean, they're friends. We all know that.
- Rachel Berry: Yeah, but it seemed like more than that. I've never told you guys this before, but I'm a little psychic. I can't read minds or anything yet, but I do have a sixth sense. Something is definitely going on there.
- Finn Hudson: [making up with the Glee Club after an argument] You cool if I take my spot back?
- Jacob Ben Israel: Quite. I was just here because I was hoping to get into Rachel's pants.
- Mercedes Jones: Look Rachel, the truth is; you're the best singer we've got.
- Kurt Hummel: As much that it hurts me to admit it, and it does... shes right. Rachel is our star. If anyone is gonna go belted on the fly, it should be her.
- Rachel Berry: Well, I do have something that I've been working on since I was four.
- Will Schuester: Sue! What kind of teacher are you?
- Sue Sylvester: Hey buddy! I just came by to feed my Venus flytrap!
- Sue Sylvester: Shuester! Well played, sir. I underestimated you. Alright, heres what happens now. Im gonna head on down to my condo in boca, brown up a bit, get myself into fighting shape - then Im gonna return to this school even more hellbent on your destruction. Get ready for the ride of your life, Will Shuester; you are about to board the Sue Sylvester express. Destination: HORROR!
- Will Schuester: I look forward to it, Sue.
- Sue Sylvester: You know, you just woke a sleeping giant. Prepare to be crushed!
- Sue Sylvester: I think you will be adding revenge to the list of things you're not good at, including being married, running a high school glee club, and finding a hair style that doesn't make you look like a lesbian.
- Finn Hudson: Well, we have a few things we'd like to show you, Mr. Schue. The first...
- [the group moves aside, revealing the Sectionals trophy]
- Will Schuester: I am so proud of you guys. You won fair and square. The result was unanimous, and... and the judges didn't even know about all the shenanigans that were going on behind the scenes. So... congratulations. You earned this.
- [the students cheer and applaud]
- Will Schuester: Give it up! Come on! All right! But... now we have regionals to worry about. And you can bet that Vocal Adrenaline is hard at work, so we should be, too. So, let's get started.
- Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: Uh, wait, Mr. Schue. There's one more thing.
- Rachel Berry: Since you weren't able to be there to see us perform, we put together a special number just for you.
- Rachel Berry: I'm so sorry. I fully understand if you want to beat me up. If you can, just try to avoid my nose.
- Quinn Fabray: I'm not mad at you. All you did was what I wasn't brave enough to do. Tell the truth.
- Rachel Berry: I was selfish when I told him. I wanted to break you two up so he would want to be with me.
- Quinn Fabray: And now neither of us have him.
- [after a moment of silence]
- Quinn Fabray: I have hurt so many people. Can you go now? I just really want to be alone.
- Candace Dystra: Okay, I'm just gonna come out and say it. This is a singing competition. I don't know how those deaf kids got in. They weren't singing; they were, like, honking and everyone was crying and I was, like, "Get off the stage. You're terrible and you're making me super uncomfortable."
- Rod Remington: Now, hold on just a second, Candy. Those Haverhurst kids twice had me reaching for my handkerchief, and those Jane Addams girls had it going on in all the right places.
- Donna Landries: Can I just say something? I have no idea what the hell I'm doing here. I'm serious. I don't understand what a glee club is, and I have never even heard the term "show choir" until about three hours ago when my boss told me he had tickets to NASCAR and I had to fill in at this fool event.
- Donna Landries: Those Jane Addams girls, I'll be damned if I didn't apportion hundreds of thousands of taxpayers' dollars to that school so they can parade their behinds around like a bunch of hoochie hos.
- Candace Dystra: The McKinley group was good, but didn't seem all that rehearsed, but I liked their energy.
- Rod Remington: Well, I have to admit I have a soft spot for the Rolling Stones. I was at Altamont Speedway in '69. I actually saw that guy get stabbed. Can't get that image out of my noggin to this day.
- Donna Landries: I seriously don't know what either one of you are talking about. I have never been so bored. I mean, if I had to pick a group that I hated the least...
- Artie Abrams: [listening through the door with a glass to his ear] It doesn't sound good, guys.
- Emma Pillsbury: You should be ashamed. Aren't you ashamed? You're educators. Actually, no, you know what? You're more than that. You take care of disadvantaged kids. And you're teaching them that the only way they can compete in this world is by cheating. I'm sorry, but what kind of message is that?
- Dalton Rumba: I don't know what you're talking about. "Don't Stop Believin'" is the most downloaded song in the history of iTunes. I've only got one good ear and even I know that. Scarlet fever.
- Emma Pillsbury: Right, and "Proud Mary"? In wheelchairs?
- Grace Hitchens: Do you have any idea how much winning is going to mean to my girls? It's gonna be a life changer; make them feel like they're worth something again.
- Emma Pillsbury: I'm... I'm sorry, do you... do you think that they're not going to know that something's up? The fact that you just magically came up with two brand-new numbers days before competition?
- Grace Hitchens: They were great up there. That's all I know.
- Dalton Rumba: I think what we have here is a case of deaf racism. Shame on you.
- Emma Pillsbury: No, you know what the real shame is? Is that maybe if you believed in them just a little bit more, they would have been amazing up there. Without cheating.
- Artie Abrams: I bet we get stuck with Mr. Sinacori as our sectionals advisor.
- Tina Cohen-Chang: Ugh, the creepy math teacher?
- Kurt Hummel: He's always singing when he walks down the halls.