Photos
Quotes
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Rachel Berry : I'm such an idiot. Mooning over you and cleaning your apartment...
Will Schuester : Hey. It's okay. I know it's not always easy for you, Rachel. And I know that there are some things about yourself that you think you'd like to change. But you should know that there's some boy out there somewhere who's going to like you for everything you are. Including those parts of you that even you don't like. Those are going to be the things he likes the most.
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Suzy Pepper : Hey, Barbara Streisand, we need to have a little talk.
Rachel Berry : I have nothing to say to you, Pepper. If you continue to stalk me, I'll press charges. Everyone knows what you are. You're the school crazy.
Suzy Pepper : I was crazy. Crazy in love.
Rachel Berry : There's nothing you can say that's going to change the way I feel about Mr. Schuester. Ours is a love for the ages. Your threats will just make our love grow stronger.
Suzy Pepper : Let me tell you a few things I learned from two years of intense psychotherapy and an esophagus transplant. Lesson number one: you and Schue? It won't work.
Rachel Berry : What do you mean?
Suzy Pepper : We're not so different, you and me. We're both mildly attractive and extremely grating. Love is hard for us. We look for boys we know we can never have. Mr. Schue is a perfect target for our self-esteem issues. He can never reciprocate our feelings, which only reinforces the conviction that we're not worthy of being loved. Trust me. I'm a cautionary tale. You need to find some self-respect, Rachel. Get that mildly attractive groove back.
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Rachel Berry : Mr. Schuester, I'm ready when you are. The ballad that I've selected has an important message that I'm anxious for you to hear.
Will Schuester : Rachel, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to stop you. The way you've been acting is totally inappropriate. I'm your teacher, Rachel, and I'm sorry, but that's all I'm ever gonna be.
Rachel Berry : I know. I... brought these for you as an apology.
[she holds out a pot of flowers with a card reading "Sorry I've been acting crazy"]
Rachel Berry : And the song I was going to sing was "Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word" by Elton John, 'cause I know how much you love it.
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Will Schuester : [trying to convey through song how inappropriate her feelings for him are] So, Rachel, do you think you understood the message I was trying to get across with that ballad?
Rachel Berry : Yes. It means I'm very young and it's hard for you to stand close to me.
Will Schuester : [exasperated sigh] Um, no. Um... Emma, would you mind helping me out here? Um, was that the message that you got?
Emma Pillsbury : [just as taken and doe-eyed as Rachel] You're a very good performer.
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Will Schuester : Why did you even let her in the house?
Terri Schuester : 'Cause she said she was one of your Glee kids. It didn't take me five minutes to realize she's in love with you. She asked if she could see your baby pictures.
Will Schuester : What, so now you're making her clean our bathroom?
Terri Schuester : Look, Will, I have been dealing with these schoolgirl crushes for years. So why shouldn't I get a little something out of it?
Rachel Berry : [entering] Do you have any more Ajax?
Terri Schuester : Oh, in the linen closet, sweetie.
[Rachel gives Schue a flirtatious wave as she leaves]
Will Schuester : This is immoral, Terri.
Terri Schuester : No, honey, do you know what's immoral? Is me having to deal with the fact that my husband spends all day with young girls who are perkier and younger than I am. I have a rash on my belly from that cocoa butter that your mother sent me. Do you have any idea how much it burns when I sweat? I can't scrub the floors as hard as she can.
Will Schuester : Baby, if it's that bad, you have to let me see it. It might be infected.
Terri Schuester : What, so now I'm going to show you the bleeding pustules on my skin? Wow, yeah, no, that's not gonna send you into the loving arms of some teenage slut.
Will Schuester : For the last time, I am not having an affair with any of my students, and you are not allowed to turn one of them into your slave because you have this irrational fear of me leaving you.
Terri Schuester : But why not, huh, if it's a win-win for everybody? Look, she's a really good cook. Try it.
[he starts to leave]
Terri Schuester : Where are you going?
Will Schuester : I'm taking Rachel home.
Terri Schuester : Can you ask her to dust the blinds in the craft room first?
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Rachel Berry : [voiceover, as she and Will sing "Endless Love"] Wow. I've never noticed this before, because he's always trying to destroy my career, but Mr. Schue has really pretty eyes. And really nice teeth. He's obviously invested in good oral hygiene, and that's important to me. It shows wonderful self-esteem.
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Rachel Berry : [voiceover, as she and Will finish "Endless Love"] Okay, this is amazing. When I'm singing with him, it's like I'm seeing him for the first time. And what I'm seeing is super... super cute.
