House of Last Things (2013) Poster

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6/10
An unbiased review
abbykern29 June 2014
Clearly most of the people who wrote reviews are friends or family of the director. The flowery language alone is an obvious tell. A few people reviewed it very harshly as a response to the over the top praise. I'll do neither.

This movie has several interesting ideas, some lovely visuals, uneven acting, a mildly incoherent plot and low to middling production values. The best shots are in the first 2 minutes and the last several minutes. The use of classical music makes sense for the plot but at times the stature of the music just underscores the generic quality of most of the filming. It doesn't have the lush beauty required to sell this story.

It wants to be the Shining, the Omen, Blue Velvet or Don't Look Now. It's not. At minimum it would need 10 times the budget to look that good. I believe the director could do more if he had more to work with but the reviews comparing the movie to those things as if they are on the same footing are deeply dishonest. It aspires to those heights and can't begin to reach them. That said, for an unknown horror flick it's pretty good. You get the feeling the director could remake it with real money and a tighter script and knock it out of the park.
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6/10
Flawed, Weird but Worthwhile Watching
claudio_carvalho22 May 2017
When Sarah (Diane Dalton) returns home in Oregon from a mental institution, her husband Alan (Randy Schulman), who is a critic of classical music, tells that they will travel to watch operas in Italy since he will write articles about them. Sarah does not want to travel but Alan introduces the hot Kelly (Lindsey Haun) to her telling that she will be the caretaker of the house. When they leave the house, the small-time criminal Jesse (Blake Berris), who is Kelly's boyfriend, unexpectedly arrives at the house. Then Kelly's unintelligent brother Tim (RJ Mitte) arrives to stay with his sister in the house. Kelly had a love affair with Alan and feels comfortable in the house. Meanwhile Jesse steals Alan's convertible to sell to a dealer but he sees the boy Adam (Micah Nelson) alone in the supermarket and decides to bring him home to ransom him despite the protest of Kelly that seeks out his parents. Adam feels good in the house and soon they learn that the house is haunted but they surprisingly stay there. Meanwhile in Italy, secrets are disclosed about the past of Alan, Sarah and Adam and why Sarah had a mental breakdown.

"House of Last Things" is a flawed and weird film with a non- chronological screenplay that explains most of the mysteries and is worthwhile watching. The story is intriguing and disclosed like a puzzle but there is lack of explanation for many things, such as who is the bizarre lady that visits Alan and Kelly; or the reference to the Garden of Eden. The cast has great performances and the unknown Lindsey Haun is very sexy. The final transformation of Kelly and Jesse is certainly inspired in David Lynch. In the end, "House of Last Things" is an original film of haunted house. My vote is six.

Title (Brazil): Not Available
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5/10
Not Bad
robzfourtweenty23 January 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I can't say it was the best film, but it was decent. I don't understand why the sex scenes were in it, nor why the director seemed fixated on the boyfriends butt. The movie isn't anything like The Shining in my opinion. It's also very strange at times and seems the director didn't have enough time or funding to make it the way intended. There are lots of irrelevant things going on in the film as well. I have no clue what the deal was with the weird lady that is describing a portal and the pain the house is in. Has potential to be much better, but if you have nothing better to do it's a decent watch. I would not say it's one for the collection though.
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1/10
An Embarrassment
theshape3112 May 2014
All the reviews must have been made by people involved with the movie, because this thing is awful. The writing, directing, acting... it's all quite bad. This might be acceptable for a student film, but it's not at all worth viewing for the general public.

Please don't waste your time on the complete embarrassment.

And shame on the filmmakers (and/or their families/friends) for posting those fake reviews. This has become an all-too-common trend here on this site, and it's despicable.

From the opening shots, we see that what's on-screen is unintentionally laughable... and not in a good way. It's so bad it's bad. I felt embarrassed for the people involved while I tried to stomach as many minutes of this drivel as I could.

Stay away.
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Vivid, satisfying and deeply engrossing
zikzhongwa15 February 2013
HOUSE OF LAST THINGS is one of those rare filmmaking triumphs where the audience is engaged via a near-perfect balance of the real and the fantastic. Director/Screenwriter Michael Bartlett certainly knows his references and his blending of those references with his own unique voice have produced a story rich in nuance and atmosphere, yet still sufficiently supernatural to satisfy audiences who are bent in that direction. Special mention must go to the fine performances of principals Lindsey Haun, Blake Berris, and RJ Mitte, but also to Diane Dalton as well, who wears her all-consuming grief like a layer of ash. Rene Berndt's art design is marvelous, and cinematographer Ken Kelsch's gorgeous photography seethes richness, luster and mystery.

This is a wonderful film.
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1/10
No, no and no
Ahirudashi19 September 2013
I am not sure what other reviewers were seeing, but this is borrow, plagiarize, borrow, plagiarize done to death. Obvious plot, robotic acting, actors deliver their lines like a horse with peanut butter on its lips RedRum smack smack RedRum, smack smack. I honestly fell asleep watching this, but not in a good I'll catch the rest tomorrow kind of way. A film doesn't have to believable, but performance has to be convincing. nothing convincing = equals bad script, bad director. This unfortunately apparently has the screenwriter and director in the same guy. Kiss of death, unless you're Woody Allen.I'm angry with myself now for even mentioning Woody and for spending money on this bore fest.
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2/10
Did the other reviewers watch the same film that I did ?
nazztrader12 May 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I'll begin by mentioning that the production values, special effects, and acting are far from excellent, but that is not the worst part of this film, IMO. And I couldn't disagree more with the reviewer who stated: "...the mood is meltingly David Lynch, this one would put big smiles on the faces of Nick Roog, Brian DePalma, and even Hitchcock." Instead, for me this is not compelling at all. There are all kinds of "loose ends" and unappealing or uninteresting characters - that's what you get for the first forty minutes, approximately. Then things "get cooking," resulting in what I would call "silly horror." If you enjoyed "Mystery Science Theater 3000" back in the day and are in the mood to throw some snarky quips at a "B movie" you haven't seen before, this might be what you're seeking. If you are looking for a ghost/haunted house horror film that is at least mediocre (even by today's standards), I don't think you will consider the time you spent watching this to have been worthwhile.

To be frank, it comes across as almost a "vanity project," with some nudity included that I'd guess some viewers will find gratuitous. I was mostly bored by this, and struggled to pay attention, though once in a while there was something I found amusing or humorous that didn't seem intended to provoke such a reaction. My thought was, "this director doesn't seem to know how to make a film!" It's confusing (in terms of all the things that are "thrown at" the viewer), yet there is nothing that is compelling enough for the viewer to think that he or she should "stick with it." We get a general sense of where things are headed within the first few minutes, yet all manner of "supernatural" things occur that seem designed only to keep an underdeveloped plot moving along. This is neither a competent, standard, feature-length horror film nor something more daring. However, I do think it could be edited into a solid three minute music video, if the accompanying music was appropriate, of course.
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1/10
Absolutely terrible
spectreacle14 June 2014
First, I can't believe all of the fake, inflated reviews for this movie. Just take a second and check out some of the profiles that are giving it very high ratings and reviews. It's no coincidence that this is the only movie they have ever reviewed. Pretty shady.

I knew it would be bad from the first scenes. They, and so many to follow, were unintentionally funny. The kind of desperate, please take me seriously type of funny you'd expect from a student film. The acting is terrible, it felt stiff and forced. I didn't waste too much time and started fast forwarding after only about 15 minutes. So if there was some sort of cohesive story to be found it certainly did nothing to make me want to find out what it was.

Don't waste your time, there are too many other better movies out there.
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8/10
Take a turn, and follow the twists till you are rewarded with your own interpretations.
face-819-93372625 May 2014
Warning: Spoilers
House of Last Things or The Last House (which really made no sense, and now makes little more) is a twisted thriller/horror/cracked-reality like The Shining from Stephen King with very broad strokes taken to deliver a visual effect sometimes working it's way into your subconscious in the back ground long before you even notice that it was always messing with you. The truth is what is fighting to get free, and the other truths that are forced up trying to get to the source are all equally vague until they are not anymore. I have to add the balloon had to have been stuck in the tree, and Adam was climbing up to get it, not just hiding. I believe that the house was trying to get that across as well taking some of the blame, and giving some to the tree. They do touch on the House having memories that it is trying to work through. The basics of the opening act are really just slow, and fulfilling dropping you in to the second act not liking the boyfriend, completely suspicious of the Brother, and uncertain why this girl is permitting these sorts of behaviors. So I was surprised when during that second act I found that I was Enjoying the twists back, and forth from Italy, and the strange Wacky Wednesday kind of stuff that is messing with everyone. There is a lot of energy tying the owners of the house to the sitters. If you like mixed up, twisted magical movies that are trying to keep you off guard all the time, and you know you be rewarded for taking the ride; then this is one I recommend you sit back, and soak in.

Jesse of www.Jesse.ca
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7/10
A profound voyage
otcho77 February 2013
I saw "House of Last Things" at the Gerardmer French Film Festival for its last screening. It was a sincere, surreal and quite uncommon experience as if "The Shining" met "Twin Peaks". A deep voyage into the ways how a house (or other locations) can change the psyche of a human being. The cast (the main character really reminds me of Laura Palmer) succeeds in conveying a notion of change and exchange within/between characters little by little as the plot unveils itself through a mirror construction. Open your eyes and ears and let the music of both the director (with his flow of stunning images) and the composers take you through this voyage.
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3/10
WARNING !!! Don't waste your time on this ...
refosk3 December 2014
Never wrote a review before and will probably never do it again, unless it's to stop using IMDb as a source of miss-leading people to watch a horrible movie like this one. The whole value of the movie is terrible. I'm what you would call a film fanatic so I watch pretty much everything and yes I have seen worse then this, but if you are an average viewer who wants an average flick just stay away from this one ... if no you can spend the first 15 minutes watching and instantly know why i wrote this .... you have been warned. Hope I help to put the film in the spot where it should be and that's definitely below 5/10. I urge others who have seen these to write what they think about it as well so we can help others avoid this.

Thank you all.
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8/10
sad reviews
hortonstrip16 December 2014
Not sure how i came across this particular film, whether it was recommended by a friend or found on an IMDb list, but I would like to point out that i am NOT a friend or family member of the film maker, and just spent nearly two hours watching a great film, quite by chance.

Then i came here and read all these terrible reviews, probably from people that think that Die Hard is the pinnacle of intelligent film making. Calling it Lynchian would be unfair to the film maker - only David Lynch is allowed to be Lynchian, anyone else getting that description is usually a pile of crap! Having said that there were definite Lynch moments, although more often than not it reminded me very much of Luis Buñuel more than anyone.

The main thing i found interesting about this was the editing and the way it wafted in between characters / scenarios / continents with the help of a little light classical. These tricks have occasionally been done before, but like i said, not so much since the days of surrealism. They were certainly refreshing for a modern flick, and were effective and occasionally disturbing.

To all the people who talked this interesting film down - there is more than one way to tell a story, it doesn't always have to be literal, and i guess that you're perhaps too stupid to appreciate something more impressionistic? Good luck with the next intallment of Harry Potter.

And thanks to the film maker, can't wait for your next one, or the one after - am fairly sure you have at least one masterpiece in you, maybe more.
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1/10
Holy hell this was awful
RockstarInvestments23 December 2014
Awful. Long needlessly drawn-out, aimless and utterly boring. Lead actress kept me watching (not for her acting in this 'thing'). There is simply nothing to like about this film and I really really tried. What a mess.

This maybe the first time I ever saw an opening and recoiled at how bad the attempt was.

I will be much more careful when using 'reviews' from IMDb in the future. It's a shame. Let people's films stand on their own. By doing this I find the false reviews hurt the ones involved more than help.

I would not normally say this but IMHO avoid at all costs.
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Low,lower,lowest 2
djangozelf19 September 2014
I got suckered in to it again.

Red some where this was a horror but IMDb says it's a thriller.

It is more accurate but for me it was a thriller that didn't thrill.

The effects where laughable and no way up to date to todays standards.

It is like 'the possession of Michael King' a whole lot of silliness,no real content and payed people saying it's something good.

I'm getting quite good at spotting these films so in the future I will be writing less of 'm simply because I don't wanna waste my time on them.

Besides it is also difficult to write 10 lines on a movie where nothing really happens.

It's not worthy to write a lot about it. having said that....
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2/10
A Test of Your Ability to Stand the Boring
devinlhoffman8 December 2014
This movie is a test of your ability to withstand the absolute boring, knowing you will receive no payout. Early in the film, you know what the supposed "mystery" is. Your first thought is, once you realize it, "I hope that's not the only surprise."

Guess what? It is! That's it. There is nothing more to it. If there was an award for being the slowest to get to the point, this film would win. Oh, but chuck full of double en'tendre and simile. If that's your thing, and prefer to not get it in a book, watch away.

In my opinion, every single person who rated this movie above 3 stars should be glad the Jone's massacre is over with, because they are the sort who would be susceptible to jumping on his bandwagon. Don't go near cults. You're mind lacks individual thinking.
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2/10
Are you kidding me...
Hatsumi9 December 2014
BALLOONS?

What the hell..This movie is unfortunately unbearable to watch. I am sorry to say this and to take the time to point out how flawed and pretentious this movie is but I feel I have the duty to tell.

And I think the blame is mostly on the director who has NO eye for photography and lighting.. the shots are flat and, I am sorry to say, but amateur looking. The lighting would have made all the difference and a good DOP would have certainly helped.

PLEASE STOP IT WITH THE BALLOON ALREADY.. its the worst imagery symbolism I saw in a long while.

The actors are all overdoing it especially the punk-horny-then-turned- intellectual guy......

I am sure this was maybe fun to shoot, but holy god its horrible. And the music is again tries to be some sort of symbolism too, but it just doesn't work.. but oh god the lighting.. and the writing... The characters says stupid inane stuff.

Would not recommend and would not even discuss among friends. I am sorry but this movie is a complete wet fart.

OH before I go I will say the opening credit was the only thing I truly enjoyed and it had me somewhat intrigued. Yet laughing at the flying golf clubs because it reminded me of Caddy Shack instantly.
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3/10
What?
rotini-525863 January 2021
All over the place. Didn't hold my attention at all. And the stupid balloons ?
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3/10
Awful
anthonybriggs-1940222 March 2020
Don't believe any of the overly positive reviews or the inflated rating. Everything about this film is awful. The fact that I didn't switch it off before it finished is probably the only positive thing that I can say about this film.
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8/10
not what I expected but good
jkmeisner413 May 2014
What makes a good genre film for me is if the director and writer, in this case one and the same, can immerse me believably into a world I haven't walked before, enough in fact for me to turn off my cell phone. This movie is very seductive in that it doesn't play out within the tired cliché of a creepy old house and keeps you guessing throughout, building something like a narrative maze not unlike the famous Kubrick garden maze in The Shining. However, I don't think it's really fair or correct to compare this director with his obvious linage, Hitchcock, Lynch, DePalma, etc. as mentioned by so many other reviewers. This is a director with a mind of his own, quite willing to go his own way inside a genre that has been sabotaged over the years by too many under-schooled directors flooding the screen with blood and gore indiscriminately. This one surprised me. Much better than I expected.
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1/10
Excrement
semolinascribe14 December 2014
Bilge water.

Trope ridden bilge-water.

Trope ridden bilge-water with a creepy porn feel at times.

Tropey creepy (not the good kind) porno bilge-water.

Poorly directed Tropey creepy-porno bilge-water.

Poorly directed Tropey creepy-porno-like bilge-water with the occasional incestuous tone.

Poorly directed Tropey creepy-porno semi-incestuous bilge-water.

What was with the "make up" on Diane Dalton ? OK, ... it did take me 10 lines to get there - so here it is:

Poorly directed Tropey creepy-porno semi-incestuous bilge-water with inexplicable make-up "effects".
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10/10
Discovery of Gerardmer Fantastic Film Festival 2013!
d-curry1311 February 2013
The House of Last Things was for my feeling the superior cinema of the Gerardmer Fantastic Film Festival 2013! I know from other audience people that I am not singular with this evaluation. As I think back on the many films showing, it is this image of this dreamy film that I am always returning to in my memory. It is a bizarre and beautiful story that captures the truthful essence of what I believe fantastic cinema should be. The acting was very convincing and it was extra special to see the boy from the TV show Breaking Bad in his first movie. I hope it plays in many festivals and I want to find the DVD when it is released to the public audience. Thank you to the Gerardmer festival for this surprise!
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2/10
I didn't get it ?
blueangelical28 March 2020
Two stars for the eye candy miss haun but the film itself is just bloody aweful. It was all over the place, sooooo difficult to follow with it going here there and nowhere.

I just didn't get it. What was going on?!? Did he honestly get tangled up in the hosepipe? What was the point if the golf balls and the apple tree? What was the director drinking when he did this film - crikey it was pants.

Dribble dribble dribble. Yes this review contains spoilers.. don't watch it because it was rubbish.
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What Trash...
ciniquelenoir2 February 2015
I decided to watch this film, on Netflix, with no prior knowledge about it. That probably about as unbiased as one can get.

Honestly, I do not understand how this film got a 6+ rating. I'm sure there's some kind of plot to this, but I didn't understand the film at all. I watched 40 minutes - didn't understand it, but I decided to give it a chance and finish the last hour, and it still made no sense to me.

Overall, it seems like a haunted house possession sort of thing. The writer/director just doesn't seem to have much grip on telling a good story, and I've seen better films with lower budgets. I'm not sure I want to see any more of this guy's work.

The only points I'll give are for some decent acting and creative imagery. 2/10
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4/10
Intriguing, too long and amateurish
gargouille196324 October 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I was glued to the screen and wanted to watch it till the end. However, the movie is too long, the lead acting was a tad too cartoonish . Tim and Adam were by far the best characters in terms of acting.

I don't for the life of me, understand the relevance of the creepy old woman and bleeding soldier characters. Especially the older woman. Also, WHO is haunting the house? The son, the tree or the soldier??

Furthermore, the photography was too straightforward. There was a real dearth of photography angles and appropriate lighting. The music was largely irrelevant to understanding the movie. Of course the music is nice because it is Mozart but it does not being any significant clue or mystery to the movie. The movie would have been the same with or without the music.

Bottom line, a lot of scènes are absolutely unnecessary and this movie has no right to be 1h50min long.
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1/10
Paint Drying
lesallen-6826815 January 2022
There's only one positive here - Kelly is some tasty eye candy. Otherwise an absolute and utter turkey. If you endured this in a cinema they'd have to wake you to give your ticket money back.
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