- Eliot Spencer: She is dressed that way because she's doing a con.
- Nathan Ford: What, you thought she was dressed like a nun for no reason?
- Eliot Spencer: It's Parker.
- Nathan Ford: OK, fair enough.
- Alec Hardison: I tell you we are doing some hinky things in Pakistan. Hinky.
- Sophie Devereaux: [to Eliot] Well, what about you? What have you been doing for the past six months?
- Eliot Spencer: I was in Pakistan.
- Nathan Ford: If you have a body in the trunk of your car, you're going to drive under the speed limit, aren't you?
- Parker: You know, when you're sober your metaphors get creepier.
- [last lines]
- Nathan Ford: You can't come in here and start hanging stuff on the walls.
- Alec Hardison: Oh yeah yeah, for repairs and renovations, your landlord has full access to your dwelling. It's in the lease.
- Nathan Ford: What are you doing reading my lease?
- Alec Hardison: [big smiles] I bought the building.
- Nathan Ford: You bought the... you're my landlord?
- Alec Hardison: Yeah.
- [offers pound-it fist]
- Eliot Spencer: [Comes through the wall with a chainsaw]
- Nathan Ford: No no no no no...
- Parker: [while picking a lock] I think people are like locks. Really complicated and frustrating, but you can't force them. You have to take time and be fiddly.
- Alec Hardison: Fiddly?
- Parker: You learn to be patient and just wait until you hear the...
- [lock clicks open]
- Eliot Spencer: Hey this detonator, if I'm around the corner, this still gonna be in range?
- Alec Hardison: Should be. I haven't worked out all the kinks yet. Sometimes the things just go off.
- Eliot Spencer: Wai-wai-wait. Hey. I thought you said this thing was safe.
- Alec Hardison: Mostly-mostly safe. I was very specific. Sometimes the frequencies get messed up.
- Eliot Spencer: What frequencies man. Huh? I got these things in my pants.
- Alec Hardison: Like a garage door opener, a car alarm.
- [Nearby car chirps, Eliot jumps]
- Parker: What are the odds that Eliots' crotch will actually explode?
- Eliot Spencer: DAMMIT HARDISON!
- Alec Hardison: Do you realize, on average, people are caught on security cameras 13 times a day? ATM cameras, traffic cameras. It's crazy man, but we can track 'em. We can. Wha... I lost him in this.
- Nathan Ford: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to call a professional killer who tried to murder me and arrange to meet him in an isolated location.
- Nathan Ford: [opens his fridge and finds it packed with bottles of Hardison's favorite orange soda] Seriously?