- Uncle Jesse Duke: [taking a letter handed to him by Smokey the Raccoon] Why, thank you, Smokey. I was wondering how Daisy and the boys was a doin'.
- Boss Hogg: [on CB] Eh, J.D. Hogg of the U.S. of A., calling the Grand Vizier, eh come in, friend.
- Grand Vizier: Not him. Of all the days to hear from the fattest and unworthiest of all cheaters!
- [presses receiver]
- Grand Vizier: Welcome to our humble land, Boss Hogg. It is indeed a pleasure to hear your voice again.
- [puts his hand over receiver]
- Grand Vizier: Yuck.
- [removes his hand]
- Grand Vizier: How can I be of service to you, round-bellied one?