Oh, what fun it must be to live on the Tamagotchi planet. Everything, even common household objects is alive in glorious multi-colour, they speak in high pitched squeaky voices calling each other names like Mametchi and Kuchipatchi , no-one is evil in any way, babies take a few days to be born in eggs before growing up just as fast... Wait. What do you mean this isn't a bad acid trip?! Oh. Oh dear.
So we have this girl called Tampopo (dandelion in Japanese, apparently) from Earth who gets transported to this diabetes nightmare and promptly gets involved in adventures with these insufferable cuties. Together, they save the world by rescuing the sun from a sleeping black hole (don't ask). Coincidentally, one of the Tamagotchi gang is expecting an infant sibling soon... and so is the human girl. So we get lots of talk about what it means to be DA BEST BRUVVER OR SISTA EVA!! Kill me now.
This 'thing' was not meant for people like me. It was produced to sell crappy hand-held toys for kids who's parents were too stingy or houseproud to give them a real life pet of their own. But I can't help thinking... surely subjecting them to such intolerable nonsense, which is at least ten times less sophisticated than the already pretty dumb Pokemon craze, would cause them more harm than good in the long run? Fortunately it looks like their little scheme failed, as Tamagotchi are now in the doldrums and seem set to stay there.
Now all they have to do is develop something equally jinxed for a certain Ninja Turtle franchise, and I can die a happy man... 2/10