Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

818-jklpuzo (2009)

Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Melissa : Well, I'm off to work.

  Alan Harper : Oh. Have a good day, Sweetie.

  Melissa : I'll be home about 6:30.

  Alan Harper : Okay.

  Charlie Harper : Alan?

  Alan Harper : She's not living here.

  Charlie Harper : Just checkin'.

  Jake Harper : [to himself]  And he calls *me* stupid.

• Charlie Harper : [Seeing Eddie walk out of the toilet with a guitar]  You were in there with your guitar?

  Eddie Van Halen : You never know when inspiration might strike.

  [Plays a quick guitar solo] 

  Eddie Van Halen : That's called "Two Burritos and a Root Beer Float"!

• Dr. Linda Freeman : [Charlie seeking help on his constipation]  Look, Charlie. You obviously still have feelings for Mia and yet you're committed to Chelsea. It's an emotional conflict and until you resolve that conflict you're going to be physically blocked.

  Charlie Harper : English, please.

  Dr. Linda Freeman : As soon as you pick one, you can go two.

  Charlie Harper : What happens if I can't pick?

  Dr. Linda Freeman : I don't know. C-section?