- Jim Halpert: What was the last thing Michael said before I came in here?
- Stanley Hudson: If you don't smell this, you're fired.
- Dwight Schrute: [in Jim's office] Sign this.
- Jim Halpert: Ah, ah, ah. Where's the "please"? We're not animals.
- Dwight Schrute: Sign it.
- Jim Halpert: No, not without a "please."
- Dwight Schrute: Idiot.
- Oscar Martinez: Look, it doesn't take a genius to know that any organization thrives when it has two leaders.
- [beat]
- Oscar Martinez: Go ahead, name a country that doesn't have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes.
- Pam Beesly: I don't think we registered anywhere. We just want cash.
- Kevin Malone: Like money? Like you - you want my money?
- Pam Beesly: Mm-hmm.
- Kevin Malone: Will you take a check?
- Pam Beesly: Yeah.
- Kevin Malone: Cool. In the memo line, I'm gonna write "To love's eternal glory."
- Meredith Palmer: You're not saying anything. At least Jim was being direct...
- Jim Halpert: Thank you, Meredith.
- Meredith Palmer: when he was telling us his dumb-ass plan.