- Nora: [helping Rebecca compose an email to a sponsor who has demanded Sam's termination] Hey, dick hole...
- Rebecca Welton: [typing] Dear Richard Cole...
- Nora: You creepy old pedo.
- Rebecca Welton: [typing] My old friend.
- Nora: Sam isn't going anywhere, asshole!
- Rebecca Welton: [typing] I have decided not to release Sam Obisanya.
- Nora: You're a shitty old man with a tiny, shriveled penis. I feel sorry for your wife. Her life must be a constant hell.
- Rebecca Welton: [typing] Please give Daphne my love.
- Nora: Sincerely, boss ass bitch.
- Rebecca Welton: [typing] Sincerely, boss ass bitch.
- [sends email]
- Coach Beard: Maybe they don't have Chuck E. Cheese here.
- Ted Lasso: Oh, yeah. Y'all might call it something different here like Charles Edgar Cheeserston III or something, right?
- Jeff Stelling: [broadcast of "Soccer Saturday"] Of course, last time we saw Roy Kent on the pitch was with AFC Richmond, battling against relegation. And occasionally against other Richmond players.
- [plays clip of Roy and Jamie fighting during a match]
- Jeff Stelling: Well, the big story today is the return of that same teammate, the controversial Jamie Tartt. The ex-Manchester City starlet and "Lust Conquers All" reject has his first match back with Richmond. Any thoughts, Roy?
- Roy Kent: Jamie Tartt is a muppet, and I hope he dies of the incurable condition of being a little bitch.
- Jeff Stelling: [cringes] Right.
- Chris Kamara: Don't hold back, Roy.
- George Cartrick: Yeah, come on. Tell us how you really feel.
- Roy Kent: Okay. You're a shit manager.
- George Cartrick: [glares] Not about me, you twat!
- Jeff Stelling: Language, boys!
- Chris Kamara: [points to George, laughing] Well, he asked for it!
- Roy Kent: He did ask for it.
- [before the game, Sam is in the locker room concealing the Dubai Air logo on the team shirt with black tape]
- Isaac: What are you doing?
- Colin Hughes: Yeah, Dubai Air not paying you enough?
- [several other players laugh]
- Sam Obisanya: No, no. Dubai Air is owned by a horrible company.
- [everyone goes silent]
- Sam Obisanya: One that has turned the Southern coast of Nigeria, my home, into a hellish, fiery swamp. I can no longer wear their name on my chest. Never again.
- [pause]
- Isaac: Give me the tape, bruv.
- [Sam hands Isaac the black tape and he covers the Dubai Air logo on his shirt with it like Sam did earlier]
- Winchester: Can I ask it?
- [Isaac hands the tape to Winchester, who covers the Dubai Air logo on his shirt with it as well]
- Sam Obisanya: Hey, listen. I do not expect you all to do this. But I hope you understand why we as Nigerians must.
- Jamie Tartt: [stands up and motions at Winchester] Throw me the tape?
- [Isaac throws Jamie the tape]
- Sam Obisanya: What do you think you're doing?
- Jamie Tartt: We're a team, ain't we? Gotta wear the same kit.
- [Jamie covers the Dubai Air logo on his shirt with the tape]
- Ted Lasso: Okay, I'll let you ladies get back to it, all right? TTFN. Yeah? Hey, you know what? What do you say we do what the man says and make today our masterpiece, yeah?
- [Rebecca and Sassy smile awkwardly]
- Ted Lasso: Okay!
- [Ted leaves]
- Rebecca Welton: Did he talk like that when...
- Flo 'Sassy' Collins: The whole time. And so eager to please.
- [wistfully]
- Flo 'Sassy' Collins: It was fabulous.