- Dan Humphrey: [to Olivia and Serena] Well, as much as I enjoy my current girlfriend talking to my ex-girlfriend about a fake boyfriend who is also my current girlfriend's ex, you could probably get us a copy of that Fallon interview, right?
- Blair Waldorf: I need a friend. Stat.
- Amalia: I'm your friend.
- Blair Waldorf: [scoffs] Please. I'm not friends with staff.
- Serena van der Woodsen: [on phone] A Michael Mann political thriller? That's good news.
- K.C. Cunningham: Wonderful news. *And* my sources told me Michael's only considering two actors for the lead. Patrick and Ryan Philippe.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Well, then he's in. Ryan totally lost his mojo after Reese got with Jake.
- K.C. Cunningham: Don't "Jake" me, Serena. Your job is to get Patrick's photo taken with politicians at the Vanderbilt election party tonight.
- Serena van der Woodsen: But, K.C., I can't...
- K.C. Cunningham: The producers will eat it up. Plus, it will totally help him get into character for his audition next week. So, I look forward to hearing how it goes.
- [about to end call]
- Serena van der Woodsen: Wait. K.C., the problem is... I'm kind of on the outs with the Vanderbilts right now.
- K.C. Cunningham: Serena, what's PR rule number one?
- Serena van der Woodsen: "My only value is my social network." But I'm afraid that network is currently one Archibald short.
- K.C. Cunningham: Make it happen! Clean up your mess, or clear out your desk.
- Blair Waldorf: [desperately scouring for a friend] Washington Square Park, Bobst Library, Bar None... I even tried spinning the cube at St. Mark's Place, but not a friend in sight. I just thought it wouldn't be so hard at Yale.
- Sophie: How about that Vanessa girl? Didn't you know her in high school?
- Blair Waldorf: [coolly] I have never heard that name before in my life.
- [sternly:]
- Blair Waldorf: Now, feel free to see yourself out.
- [Sophie leaves obediently, and Blair eyes complete stranger at the counter]
- Blair Waldorf: Oh, my God, how does that girl have the Valentino 360 bag? I'm still wait-listed!
- Amalia: Who? Where?
- Blair Waldorf: At the register. Quick! How do I look?
- Amalia: Superior.
- Blair Waldorf: [sighs, gets up] No one follow me.
- [approaches blond girl]
- Blair Waldorf: I love your 360.
- Brandeis: Thanks. I just got it.
- Blair Waldorf: And very smart to pair it with Peter Som.
- Brandeis: [smiles] You're good.
- Blair Waldorf: I know.
- [chuckles]
- Blair Waldorf: I'm Blair. May I?
- Brandeis: Oh, please, do.
- Blair Waldorf: [sighs as she handles the revered object] The moment I saw it, it joined my list of Blair's Most Wanted.
- [smiles]
- Blair Waldorf: Believe me when I tell you - I don't say this very often - but I think I like you.
- Brandeis: Give me those peep-toes, and maybe I'll believe you.
- Blair Waldorf: Sorry. My Alexandra Birmans are sacred.
- Brandeis: Amen.
- [Blair chuckles]
- Brandeis: By the way, I'm Brandeis.
- Blair Waldorf: How would you like to come with me to a fabulous party tonight?